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Would you stop menstruating if you could?
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Would you stop menstruating indefinitely - for years, maybe - if you could start up again easily if you wanted a child? Put your comments with the ones below. No need to add your name or address, but writing your age might give a hint of generational differences, and it would be informative to give your nationality or part of the country. (Some writers, below, have allowed their names, etc., to be included.)

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Below are your e-mail comments from November 2005 to July 2004. Read older ones dating to 2000 at the link at the bottom of the page.
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Leer la versión en español de los siguientes temas: Anticoncepción y religión, Breve reseña - Olor - Religión y menstruación - Seguridad de productos para la menstruación.

Comic strip: A conservative American family visits the (future) Museum of Menstruation

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"Down with the feminine hygiene aisle!"

I most certainly would dispense with menstruation and for the most part I have. I have polycystic ovary syndrome which makes my periods unpredictable last year I went 4 months without a period and when they resumed it was a regular bloodbath. I finally got fed up and my very understanding gynecologist put me on progesterone which gives me a very light flow a few days every month. Hallelujah!! Who needs to put up with getting a fucking period? I am not into this new age woman crap, proud to have a moon time of the month or whatever they want to call it.

Give me freedom any day. Down with the feminine hygiene aisle!

July 2007


"I have had one since I was 7 and I am now 30. To me it can be a pain but in actuality it is apart of life."

Hi, I actually don't mind my period. I have had one since I was 7 and I am now 30. To me it can be a pain but in actuality it is apart of life. I just remember that yes, this too shall pass, it is just one of life's obstacles and I wouldn't change it if I could. I bleed for about 6-7 days and have bad cramps for 3 days. The way I look at it if it wasn't for me then God wouldn't have given it to me. Remember, ladies, that no matter what it is a part of you. While you may be cranky or upset it is apart of you and defines who you are!!!

****

July 2007


"I wish I hadn't wished for it in the first place, because for the year I've had it it had made me miserable."

I am 13 and I would definitely stop menstruating. Periods are my hell once a month. I feel gross and self-conscious - it's like I am contaminated. I always worry about it getting on my underwear or staining my clothes. When I get on in front of the class I constantly check my butt turning around. I feel like the whole world knows about it.

I never feel special or proud during my period, I feel like staying home all week and lying in bed until the "thing" has passed. My period seems abnormally long - sometimes 9 days - it is abnormally long. I wish I hadn't wished for it in the first place, because for the year I've had it it had made me miserable.

I would not hesitate to give up my period-assuming I could still have kids someday far from now. It is not a part of myself I am proud of, it is a part of me I could live without; and I would happily do so. Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I should be punished for it.

That is how I feel.

July 2007


"There are significant risks to the hormone therapy many women use during menopause. Why would it be any different during our fertile years?"

No. Our bodies were created to go through this cycle during our fertile years, and any drug or hormone therapy that blocks it must increase other health risks. I have enjoyed not having my period for the past 2 years due to pregnancy and exclusive nursing, but I would use a birth control method that eliminated or reduced the frequency of my period. The negative effects of doing so would likely be long-term in nature, and therefore initial safety tests would not satisfy me.

There are significant risks to the hormone therapy many women use during menopause. Why would it be any different during our fertile years?

June 2007


"I won't shed a tear when the periods stop. Would I stop them now?  Huge YES, if it was healthy & safe to do so."

I know menstruation is natural ­ but then so is death and flatulence and who welcomes them! I can feel feminine and proud to be a woman without bloody knickers and fear of leaks or coming on unexpectedly. I want to be able to book holidays without thinking about my irregular cycle, only to find that it gets delayed or starts early and ruins my holiday.  And for those of you who can't equate periods with ruined holidays, you try finding suitable toilets in foreign countries or try changing tampons in a 'Turkish' loo (the squat ones with the footprints) and then find there's nowhere to wash your hands! 

It would be nice to be free to do want you want, when you want without thinking first whether you will need a loo and calculating how many hours before you will need a new tampon, then worrying as the time draws near that it will leak before you have a chance to change it. 

I am 48, I started my periods when I was 11 and they have been irregular, and therefore been difficult to plan around, ever since. At first I had a lot of pain, cramps etc which made me (on doctors advice) a chronic paracetamol taker. After a couple of years on the Pill (blessed relief, I had just 3 days/month of painless bleeding, and then only light) I found that the pains were less severe and I only need painkillers once every six months or so. But the periods were back to irregular.

But I hate being held hostage each month. I don't look forward to the menopause (hot flushes? pleeease!) but I won't shed a tear when the periods stop. Would I stop them now?  Huge YES, if it was healthy & safe to do so.

And a huge THANK YOU for such an informative website!

June 2007


"I would not want to stop menstruation, it is a womanly right, it is a way a woman experiences her most powerful time."

Hi, I was talking to my partner about this just this morning. I would not want to stop menstruation, it is a womanly right, it is a way a woman experiences her most powerful time. Native American Woman and other tribal societies still gather together during moontime (menstruation) and during this time gather intuitive wisdom and guidance for the whole tribe. Menstruating is a powerful experience when we have problems with menstruation we have a fear of our own power and femininity. I used to have really painful periods I began using natural progesterone cream on my skin and I have peaceful periods now, little PMT and its an honour to menstruate. I feel women are given sanitary protection like pads and tampons and for me it always has felt really disgusting like I am disposing of my blood like it is used waste and faeces. Tribal women sometimes allow the blood to seep into the earth and this makes our connection with Mother Earth stronger. I am considering buying a Mooncup soon myself instead of using pads.

I know of some women who want to stop their periods and most of us have been told it is a curse, mainly by religion and man. It's a beautiful experience that women need educating on, not just the biology of the experience but also the femininity and power held within it. This drug is just another way the pharmaceutical companies are using to dumb down the feminine, when women take this drug in the long term they will be reliant on other drugs because no doubt this will have tremendous health side effects like most drugs supplied by the pharmaceutical agencies like the contraceptive pill. Men know their is power in women who menstruate, I have my most emotional, intuitive times during my period, this is why men and society for so long have tried to stop us having periods.

These are my thoughts anyway,

Thanks for listening,

****, United Kingdom

June 2007



"Now my periods are winding down and I'm so looking forward to them stopping forever. I'm looking forward to being a granny (and not just a granny midwife). I have to agree with the lady who said 'Not just yes, but hell yes.'"

I am a midwife, 44, have three beautiful children (23, 19, 17) and I got my period when I was 12, like my mother. I was thrilled.

I really enjoyed maternity, nursing and all that. I used sponges or home-made cloth pads and a home-made belt for years when I worked from home. Never had too bad menstrual pain, but had awful childbirths. Now my periods are winding down and I'm so looking forward to them stopping forever. I'm looking forward to being a granny (and not just a granny midwife). I have to agree with the lady who said "Not just yes, but hell yes. Never really had a problem or anything but after 35 years I'm sick and tired of it. I've appreciated the feminine, the moon cycles, the fecundity, the fertility. It's awesome, . . . now go away, shoo. "

Amen.

Bless you all for your brave stories.

May 2007


"My dad is a doctor, but he doesn't say anything; my mom says 'it's normal' too, so I don't go 'to the doctor' when I have those pains."

Yes, I would stop it but only if there were less dangerous ways, something like surgery or magic (!) (without drastic or long-term side effects), whateva. I prefer to reduce the periods or the flow.

I am 16 years old from Mexico. In my short life I'm tired of menstruation. I have very painful cramps, and my period is very heavy. I feel dizzy, horrible, vomiting (just like a 20-year-old woman from England who commented). My life stops one or two painful days; the first day I can't do anything, it bothers me a lot, I'm just waiting for it to end. Actually, I was thinking "it's normal," but reading the comments I find it may be a disorder. My dad is a doctor, but he doesn't say anything; my mom says "it's normal" too, so I don't go "to the doctor" when I have those pains.

I like to be a woman and I'm very proud, I like my body, but I hate to use pads or Tampax, and the pre-menstrual mood changes (I had enough when I started to cry for a shampoo tv commercial). I don't want to have children, so why do I need to have these periods? Bleeding each month... why ?... what can I do at this age? Nothing. I just will try to handle it a few years more, but I don't want to wait till menopause.

Anyway...

Thanks for this web site. I'm very curious about this topic, the history of menstruation.

May 2007


"Every day after school I would pore over returned search results from Google for 'menstruation' and the like.  MUM.org was also a big hit with me. (I really admire you and the effort you have put into your site!) I always deleted the computer's history; the searches were getting to be a secret obsession."

Two years ago at menarche, I never ever wanted to stop menstruating. At first I pitied myself for being female, for being subjected to messy puddles and monthly tampon fees. I kept it to myself for seven months until my ma found out. Her questions were ignored until she stopped asking me. By this time I'd already found your site and had already begun admiring menstrual activists. I decided to become more eco-friendly, and began to buy organic tampons. Every day after school I would pore over returned search results from Google for "menstruation" and the like.  MUM.com was also a big hit with me.(I really admire you and the effort you have put into your site!) I always deleted the computer's history; the searches were getting to be a secret obsession. Then I discovered menstrual cups, and became more open to my ma about my periods. Two months later I had convinced her to buy me a Divacup off the Internet. I had a serious attachment to this thing: I sewed lots of little cases for it and sterilized it like nuts. I saved the blood, painted with it, and even went so far as to asking artists if they wanted to buy some (they didn't). Meanwhile I had become involved in vegetarianism, biking, swimming, and running. Needless to say, I dropped ten pounds in six months and haven't menstruated in five. I miss my period terribly. For weeks I eat gigantic amounts of food, but it still refuses to appear. I hope I will see it later in life. So I say no, I would not stop menstruating if I could.

Thanks very much,

A twelve-year-old kid, New York

May 2007


"I'm sure that if men had to deal with something so undesirable for just 3 months, then there would definitely be a miracle pill to stop this madness immediately!"

Yes,  I would definitely stop menstruation if I could.

My menstruation is heavy, occurs 2 times monthly  (10 days on, 5 days off and 10 days on with 5 days off) and is disruptive to my life.

I am 34 years old, married with one 10-year old son and my tubes have been tied for 7 years.

There is no reason for me to menstruate. It is simply an inconvenience.

The unpleasantness, high expense and the interruption during work, not to mention the numerous embarrassing moments are something I can definitely live without.

I'm sure that if men had to deal with something so undesirable for just 3 months, then there would definitely be a miracle pill to stop this madness immediately!

May 2007


"If you are unhappy with the products you use then you should look into the many other options out there. You might just feel a bit better physically and mentally."

I'm a 16-year-old female from the United States. I would not stop menstruating if I could. I can't really explain why, but I look forward to getting my period every month. I love getting out and using my soft, comfortable, absorbent cloth pads. The blood is diluted and pink as I rinse it away. I can't forget my menstrual cup, I love that too. It's natural and not an inconvenience to me. I still get PMS and mild cramps but I take the time to pamper my body before AND after my period, now. I feel refreshed. If you are unhappy with the products you use then you should look into the many other options out there. You might just feel a bit better physically and mentally.

May 2007


"As much as I dislike going through mine, I would rather keep it, than suffer some unknown health issues women wanting to cease their cycles may face."

I don't really like the bloating, moodiness, body aches and mess of my cycle but I do think that it could possibly be harmful if artificially stopped somehow, especially with chemicals or medicines.

I read where women that are post menopausal tend to wind up with an increased risk for heart problems so I think that stopping a menstrual cycle might be just as dangerous.

As much as I dislike going through mine, I would rather keep it, than suffer some unknown health issues women wanting to cease their cycles may face.

Being on the "rag" as me and my school friends referred to it in back in the 70's was and still is a bother but it is also a nice break from men.

Love your site! Very unique!

Signed,

A Lady in Texas

April 2007


"And it's kind of disgusting, but I kind of like wearing pads during the school day or whatever. It's kind of squishy and it's actually a little bit comfy, like a little cushion."

Hello. I'm a 14-year-old girl from New Jersey (U.S.A.). I really love your site! If you post this on there, I would like to mention that [the book] "The Red Tent" might be of interest to your readers, please and thank you.

Anyways, I think it's just kind of stupid to want to get rid of your period. I know some people have really bad cramps or they don't want to have children or whatever, but it really isn't that much of a bother to ME. I don't get (bad) cramps, and I'm actually kind of HAPPIER during my period. Sides, once I get it it's kind of a relief, because then I don't have to worry about getting it Next Week when I'm going on a field trip or to the movies with my friends or whatever else. And if my period DOES fall on the date of some event or another, I use a tampon. And it's kind of disgusting, but I kind of like wearing pads during the school day or whatever. It's kind of squishy and it's actually a little bit comfy, like a little cushion. My least favorite part of my period has got to be the last 2 days or so, when I'll think it's over and it'll stop for a whole day and then the next day I'm on the rag again.

I hope you found my email of some interest, I'm just giving a little back to you from all of the info. I got from your site!

Love,

Xxxxx (Since I know you X out the names anyways)

April 2007


"What I noticed was that American women are extremely conscious about their body and easily embarrassed by the most natural things. American women couldn't even imagine not shaving their armpits . . . . Did it ever occur to someone that being a little bit (just a little bit) dirty is actually attractive because that's just what life is like?"

I would definitely not take any pills to suppress menstruation permanently. I do feel for those women who really suffer physically from menstrual cramps and I can understand that they'd take such a pill. However, I can't relate to all those who'd just like to get rid of it because it's a nuisance or causes a little bit of pain.

I am 28, a German married to an American (living in Germany). I earn my living by translating medical research studies from German into English. I think my work has made me more aware of the dangers that lie in new medical products and as there are no long-term data available on the permanent suppression of menstruation, I wouldn't take the risk. However, even if there were enough clinical long-term data that would prove that it's safe, why should I take it? Menstruation is not a disease. Why should I swallow a pill to suppress something that is just a normal body function? I am not sure if this website is mainly visited by American women, but in any case, I have the feeling that this is a very American idea. Due to my work as a translator and because of my husband, I have lived in the US for a while and have got to know many American men and women. What I noticed was that American women are extremely conscious about their body and easily embarrassed by the most natural things. American women couldn't even imagine not shaving their armpits - "Oh my god, how disgusting!" But why is it disgusting? Men have hairy armpits and it's fine. Why is a woman with hairy armpits disgusting? My husband told me that he had never before seen women with hairy armpits until he came to Europe! Unbelievable! Same goes for shaving legs (I only shave my legs in summer when I wear skirts. In Winter I don't care.). Same goes for body odour. Same goes for BM. Same goes for showing nudity on tv and in newspapers. And this whole discussion about stopping the disgusting business of menstruation is just the same. People get estranged from their own body and think it's disgusting if their body isn't 100% clean and fresh. Did it ever occur to someone that being a little bit (just a little bit) dirty is actually attractive because that's just what life is like?

I think women should just get a more normal attitude towards their own body and be more relaxed (unless they have real pain. Once again, I feel for these women and understand their point of view.) I mean, i am not particularly happy about getting my period but i just accept it as a normal part of me just like my big butt or my beautiful eyes. When I have my period I pretty much do everything I usually do even though I don't feel that great all the time, but I refuse to fuss about it constantly. I even have sex during that time and that always makes me feel better. :)  Disgusting? Well, I don't care. It's not to me and it's not disgusting to my husband. It's just the normal me. You can say what you want but i have the feeling it's a lot more fun the way I do it instead of fussing about my period for a week, not going anywhere, feeling dirty and disgusting and pushing my husband out of bed. By the way, my husband thinks I am much more easygoing, sexier and less tense than any American woman he ever met. Coincidence or cultural difference? I don't know. I am just telling you how weird Americans seem to me at times.

April 2007


"I am done with having kids. I am ready to be done with having periods. . . . I have been asking how I can speed up the menopause process just so I can stop this monthly cycle."

I got to this website in search of ways to stop my periods! I've been having periods since I was 9 years old. I have never had a regular every 28 days period, without high dose estrogen birth control. High school was a time of being out of school several days during each period due to heavy cramping and bleeding. Having children did not help (I was one of the few to continue to have migraines while pregnant). I am done with having kids. I am ready to be done with having periods.

I am 44 and for the last two years have had extremely uncontrollable periods. I have two - three days a month I can't leave the house. I have missed special family events and business functions because of this. My doctor mentioned a surgical procedure a number of months ago, but thought I should try birth-control pills again. They haven't done anything to help me and I have had it. I have been asking how I can speed up the menopause process just so I can stop this monthly cycle.

[I just received this e-mail that might help:

Dear Sir/Madam,

In the process of researching websites related to menorrhagia and its treatment options, we visited your website. As your website provides vast information on menorrhagia-related topics, we ask that you please consider adding a link to our website http://www.aboutheavyperiods.com.

 Thank you for your consideration

Jon Holato]

March 2007


"For 2.5 weeks of the month I am miserable. . . . Since I am unable [to have children], I would like this mess to stop."

Absolutely! I am 30 with four children. I would love to have more children (three of mine are adopted - age 8, 4 and 2, and my birth child just turned 11.)  My husband and I, however, are infertile for unknown reasons.

For 2.5 weeks of the month I am miserable. First with PMS that makes me angry at everyone, then with my period which makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want to go anywhere, and I hate people for this time. I feel good for a week and a half, and then it begins all over again.

If I could get pregnant, I would put up with this for that. Since I am unable, I would like this mess to stop. Maybe it makes other women feel normal. It did for me for the first few months when I was 14. Now it is more that I come to it each month with a hateful unbelieving thought - "this can't be real!"

I have been against birth control pills - wanted to have my family naturally. Then, to satisfy my son's birth dad, I went on Depo-Provera soon after he was born. I bled for a year straight - and believe this may be the cause of my current infertility. But since I can't have children, I would take birth control to get rid of my period. (I have heard that infertility may be reversed by being without a period for a length of time, and I would really like to try that.)

So, my answer is yes. I would definitely stop it if I could.

March 2007


"I even asked the vet if I could be spayed along with the cat. He just laughed. He thought I was kidding."

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm 47 and haven't had to deal with menstruation for 10 years. But, I've been on Depo[-Provera] since 1997. My doc is now concerned and wanting me off the depo for my bones. That is probably a good idea, but I don't want the monthly mess of a curse back. It always would last for two weeks of the month. I can't plan to do anything. [Read about shortening periods with artificial light.]

I'm interested in other forms of suppression since they refuse to give me an elective hysterectomy. Nor will they offer me endometrial ablation. Yeah, I'm healthy and never had real cramps. Just super heavy bleeding. I would love something permanent.  Any suggestions from potential experts out there who have had success??? I even asked the vet if I could be spayed along with the cat. He just laughed. He thought I was kidding.

March 2007


Depo-Provera not working

I'm on Depo[-Provera] and my periods are now worse!!! The last one lasted over three months and this happened one month after I got my shot. I'm a lesbian and only tried this to end THE MISERY!! Anything else to take care of it?? [Read about shortening periods with artificial light.]

March 2007



"There is no way to stop them without fooling around with my hormones and as far as I know they are pretty important to my health."

I'm 45, living in Canada.

If I could stop them without any side effects, I would.

That is the problem. There is no way to stop them without fooling around with my hormones and as far as I know they are pretty important to my health.  And surgery is out for me. Too risky. So essentially-No.

I've got 5 years, give or take until menopause and then I will become one of those older wiser women one hears so much about.

March 2007


"I have always believed that woman are 'higher beings' in some ways because we have children and get to wear divine dresses!!"

My name is *****, I am 13 (almost 14) and I started my period when I was 12. When I first started my period, I was in the pool and I only saw some brown drops in the bottom of my togs. I showed them to mum and she said she loved me and I wasn't a little girl anymore, and gave me a BIG hug!!

I must admit that I HATE period pains, which I sometimes get, but I always feel blessed when 'it's that time of the month.' I love the feel of being a woman, and I adore the idea that my body is preparing myself to have children. I do also like that I am growing up and I think it makes me really happy and proud to be a woman!! I have always believed that woman are 'higher beings' in some ways because we have children and get to wear divine dresses!! When I get pain I have a panadol and go on this site... It makes me happy to see all these wonderful woman bonding with each other over a beautiful thing!!

That's all from me!!

*****, NZ

February 2007


"I plan to meet with a doctor soon to get my prescription changed to Seasonale or something of that sort, and I encourage other women in my situation who feel helpless to do the same. :)"

I'm an 18-year-old girl from Texas, and I've dealt with severe endometriosis since I was about 16 1/2. The pain I experienced for two months was so severe that I can't even fathom any words to describe it -- and then I was fortunate enough to be able to get on the Pill. Most of my monthly pain was completely alleviated, at least for the first year or so. I still do have worse cramps than most women I know experience, and the combination of that with my IBS (which was made worse with the coming of womanhood) results in horrible intestinal pain. I didn't think there was much that I could do about that regarding hormone supplementation, but a few months ago, I started reading that many women had been using contraceptive pills continuously to avert their periods. I tried it, and the results were amazing for me! I felt much better without the pain and also noticed a significant increase in the fullness of my breasts (but considering that I'm only a AA cup, it doesn't take much to be considered "significant" :). I plan to meet with a doctor soon to get my prescription changed to Seasonale or something of that sort, and I encourage other women in my situation who feel helpless to do the same. :)

February 2007


"God, just no more ANYTHING that has to do with blood!"

Your site is fab - don't let the naysayers get you down!!!

I never really loved or hated my period - it was just a part of my life, for better or worse. I gave birth to two lovely children (now aged 10 and 6). I decided after my second was born that I wasn't going to stick those damn hormones into my body anymore - that it wasn't natural, or normal, and that's not the way it was supposed to be. I had a bad experience with a "chemical abortion", and realized that something needed to be done. My doctor offered me the Mirena IUD, with the caveat that "you might stop having periods!" Well, hell, I thought, is that a BAD thing?!? Would it really be so AWFUL? She told me that her Russian patients often came back after a few months to have it removed, saying that "they didn't feel like women" without their periods. BAH! I thought. To never have to deal with a bloody tampon again, now that would be a relief. I signed up for the Mirena, and although it took about 6 weeks or so before my uterus stopped complaining, I've had it now for 4 years and love it. God, just no more ANYTHING that has to do with blood!

that's my story :)

January 2007


"Even with all this, I always welcome my period, it feels like such a cleanse every month. Plus it sure makes me appreciate being pain-free and mobile again when it's all over." 

Hi there,

Just thought I'd share my story. I've got a bicornuate uterus (you can compare it to a normal uterus or research it more on google) [so does one of the MUM artists; scroll down toward the bottom of the page to see her doctor's drawing]. Plus I have a double-lined uterus with each lining twice the thickness of a regular lining. So, I was told that with the double linings I might start having two periods per month at some point. Well, I don't know which is better, two periods per month or one KILLER once a month! Currently I suffer from one HELL of a period once a month. I wonder if the people who have 'heavy' periods could even compare to this. Because of the two double-thick linings, it's like having four times the amount of a regular person. It sucks, but what I do is as soon as I see or feel a hint of my period coming, I load up on Ibuprofen, which lessens the pain. Heating pad helps, walking, sleeping, plus I have a very loving husband, who massages my lower back gently, because it's so very sensitive. I was on the Pill for 10 years and decided that was enough. The Pill also made the pain a bit more bearable, plus my periods were lighter, but I don't know if anything out there is strong enough to eliminate all the pain. I guess I was lucky to be a VERY late bloomer. I didn't start till I was 17. I remember being so upset because my younger sisters had theirs and I didn't. I guess my body knew I wouldn't be able to handle the pain at a younger age. Even with all this, I always welcome my period, it feels like such a cleanse every month. Plus it sure makes me appreciate being pain-free and mobile again when it's all over. It's kinda like my monthly reminder to enjoy life as much as possible whenever you can!

I'm 32, no children, even though everyone's told me to have a child and it would fix it. I've been told by my doctor that I would have a very difficult time getting pregnant because of the bicornuate uterus, plus I have one severely damaged ovary from a cyst that burst. So I decided children weren't for me. So instead I run a daycare centre! Much more fun, plus I get paid for it!

January 2007


"I was born to be a reptile . . . ."

I don't care about annoying, painful menstrual cycles. I was born to be a reptile, not a mammal. I have no intentions of breeding, and I have an active life-style - periods are a filthy curse. But of course I'd put great importance to the risks of any pill that offers this solution.

January 2007


"First of all, as a registered nurse, let me say that I think women should be able to do whatever they want with their periods."

I found this site while I was doing research for grad school (I am getting a master's degree in Adult Health Nursing) and I find it fascinating.

I am 30 years old, married, no kids. Probably won't have kids as my husband and I are infertile for unknown reasons.

I got my period when I was 12 and a half years old, which I guess is pretty average. I am fairly regular with most cycles being from 28-31 days, with 5-6 days of bleeding.

First of all, as a registered nurse, let me say that I think women should be able to do whatever they want with their periods. If they have a lot of pain, anemia, or other problems and want medications to regulate, stop, or decrease the frequency of their periods, I fully support that.

I myself took oral contraceptives for six years and eventually went off them because they gave me difficult-to-control high blood pressure. Some women are just more sensitive to extra hormones than others.

I noticed when I went off the Pills, though, that I felt better. I was less bloated and tired.  Even if the high blood pressure were not an issue, I will never take hormonal contraceptives again because I feel better without them.

My periods aren't easy or pleasant either. I bleed very heavily the first 2-3 days, and have cramps and nausea. But I just take ibuprofen regularly, change my protection often, and get through it. After the first three days or so, I actually feel pretty good again. I try to distract myself during the bad time, but just doing what I would normally do. I do the same thing when I have a mild illness.

So, no I would not stop my periods. I have mixed feelings about them, but I feel more "normal" when I have them.

 - 30-year-old American, raised in the northeast.

December 2006 


"I've appreciated the feminine, the moon cycles, the fecundity, the fertility. It's awesome, . . . now go away, shoo."

Not just yes, but hell yes. Never really had a problem or anything but after 35 years I'm sick and tired of it. I've appreciated the feminine, the moon cycles, the fecundity, the fertility. It's awesome, . . . now go away, shoo. I am woman, hear me roar.

December 2006


"[M]y heart goes out to the sisters who know another side of this."

I did [stop menstruating]! I have had horrible periods for years, so much so that I missed many professional and personal obligations because of them and they became near-constant and incapacitating. Happily, last week, at age 37 I had a hysterectomy. No qualms about it really and glad to be done with the whole thing. I appreciate how menstruation connects us to nature, the moon, and all of the spiritual pieces of it - but honestly, I could not have cared less about any of that once the pain and illness became so awful. Kudos to you who have manageable cycles and can appreciate the beautiful aspects of this awesome function of women's bodies, and my heart goes out to the sisters who know another side of this.

December 2006


Yes!

I absolutely would love to stop having periods. I've always had super painful and super long periods that last up to 8 days. I am a happy go lucky person with minimal PMS, but when my period hits, I hate everything and everyone. I resent having a period all the more because my husband and I do not want to have children, so for me, a period is a waste of a week or more every month of my life. I tried the Depo shot, hoping that it would end it, but I had breakthrough bleeding for the entire time and it was miserable. For now, I am content to wait for the glorious days of menopause. I would trade all this in happily for hot flashes and hormone therapy.

November 2006


No! "As with many other women with an early onset of what was later diagnosed as bipolar, mine was set off by my first period."

I think it is so easy for many women, especially young girls just starting out to say "Yes! Make it stop!". Most people if they knew what effect my periods have on me would probably be shocked by my answer. Which of course is No, I would not stop menstruating. I have bipolar I, it is genetic and I had an early onset of it. As with many other women with an early onset of what was later diagnosed as bipolar, mine was set off by my first period. The rapid shift in hormones combined with severe personal stress caused my first and arguably most severe manic episode. Every month my period and I met on the battleground and in the end neither of us won, I was fighting against the wrong enemy. There is a growing amount of evidence as of late to indicate the additional negative aspects of bipolar that women face with it. The hormone fluctuations not only wreak havoc upon us in general, but also have been proven to disrupt the effectiveness of many commonly prescribed bipolar medications, such as lithium. When I found that out, I felt a bit relieved, because I had thought that my medications just weren't working and thought so several times until I noticed that they only seemed less effective during PMS and my period. I also re-experience side effects of my medication which usually only happens when the dose is raised. I will have stronger urges to do self-destructive things, which I already went into treatment for over a year ago and gave up. Also, though I do not particularly have a bad temper I will sometimes be full of rage.

But I have been on the other side of the fence I was placed on continuous birth control pills several years ago to disastrous results. They aided in one of my very few psychotic episodes and I had to go completely off the Pill after that. Placing bipolar women on regular birth control or the type meant to suppress their period most of the time is a common avenue, but many like me can not tolerate the Pill. I also can't be placed on anti-depressants even during my period as is prescribed for bipolar women and those with PMDD, because in me they trigger hypomania and suicidal ideation. For 12 months I did not menstruate; I started again late last year. This was due to anorexia nervosa - that was the biggest fight I ever waged against my body in general and my period and I did not come away from that unscathed. So people must think I'm crazy to not want to stop my period, right? Well, after all, bipolar people are already crazy. It should be noted that my sarcasm does not always translate well in my writing. I however think I am so much closer to sane then anyone might think, because I've stopped fighting against what is a natural occurrence in my body and in the average woman's body. So, back to that year without my period. I do not believe that I have ever felt more disconnected with myself then in that year - that is what anorexia feeds off of. It is a special kind of awesome when you become so out of touch with what your body needs and wants to do, that your roommate has to take care of your cat because you no longer can because her needs confuse and annoy you. As strange as it may sound, bleeding is a sign that you are still alive. I didn't want to bleed because I didn't want to be alive and I certainly didn't want to be healthy which to me meant FAT. Healthy women have periods; the bleeding is a sign that things are the way they are supposed to be inside of your body.

Not having a period aided in that disconnection so much more then one might imagine. Think about this: it took extreme restriction that fell into starvation, rapid and severe weight loss, excessive exercise with no fuel due to a lack of nutrition and proper sleep, to stop my period. So think about what those tiny little Pills or patches have to do inside of your body to make your period stop. The war against your period doesn't have to become visible on the outside to still be damaging you inside. I had a few very nice chats about why I don't use the Pill with an experienced registered nurse when I was in treatment. She did not want the Pill abolished or anything like that, her opinion was not coming from that arena, but rather that she wanted women to make better-informed choices. Taking a Pill that has to severely shift your hormones and add more to prevent pregnancy or a period is pretty extreme when you think about it, especially since condoms and diaphragms exist. Now, I am not against birth control used for just that, birth control; every woman has to make that choice for herself. But I am strongly against its use for stopping menstruation. All the things that stop your period w/o pills are extremes: illness, malnourishment which can occur in the underweight as well as the overweight, surgery, etc. The birth control pill is not the only problem. The pharmaceutical companies want to shove more and more pills down our throats every year. Why take something unnecessary?

No matter what the media and advertisers may tell you, naturally occurring events in your life really aren't meant to be convenient. I have to do more then the average woman during PMS and my period to keep myself intact. On a regular basis I have to work on that, which is another sign I'm healthy because I want to take care of myself and accept my body's needs, wants, and functions. Society, the media, and the advertising industry spend a lot of time, energy, and even money telling me what they think is wrong with my body and its normal functions. I think it is so much easier to just nod my head and say okay, just give in to everything that they tell me is wrong and then try to fix it. But I am way past that point in my life. I change the things I want to change as long as they are coming from a healthy place in my mind and do not take extreme measures to do so or cause an undue hardship on my wallet. If it takes extreme measures or expense, both, or has the wrong motivation then no mater how tempting it may sound I just back away, because I have to question the mental soundness of someone who doesn't. We aren't meant to be perfect; the goal of human perfection died when Machiavelli showed up to the party and it doesn't need to come back now. So I'm not going to be taking any Pills or do anything else to cease menstruation - after all I had to work really hard to become healthy enough again just for the privilege of seeing that sign of life come from within my body. This is my body and I've reclaimed it as such, so I'm not going to be quiet or plug it up or carry discrete pads and tampons with me, because God forbid anyone ever know that you're bleeding.

Ah, but I realize at this point that I might as well be talking to the wall, because when you won't let people make you ashamed of your period then people are already lost. So it's easy to jump to all kinds of negative stereotypes about me because I choose to keep my period and not allow anyone to make me feel it's dirty, gross, or unnatural. One of the biggest things stressed to anorectics is the importance of menstruation to their body and that the lack of it is a sign of an unhealthy body. I fail to see why taking Pills to stop it is any less unhealthy. It's a distinction without a difference.

November 2006



A Zambian writes Yes!

Having my monthly period has denied me a 100% fulfillment of life, people, laughter, and is a huge career obstacle!  For about 10 days of each month, my life changes! First signs are: I become unsociable, very quiet, unable to enjoy other people's company, impatient, rude, AND worst of all, I become STUPID.  I seriously do not have the same intellectual capabilities during this period. The second phase (as soon as bleeding starts), the aforementioned still with me but, but to top it all, the pain is horrific, I pop painkillers way beyond the prescribed dosage for 3 days.

I am 45 and been suffering since age 16. I am tired of apologizing to the people I offend during this period. I am going to my doctor today, enough is enough. Any treatment, pill or surgical, will do to take it away.

Fed up !

November 2006


"So would I stop menstruating if I could? I only do four times a year and would not change it for anything."

First, I have been very surprised by the reactions of women to this topic both in life and on this page. I would have thought all women would want to reduce the number of periods they have but I realize there are reasons why many do not which seem to include religious reasons and peace of mind that the individual is not pregnant. I started my period at the age of 12 and for the first two years it was not a problem. At fourteen I began to have irregular and painful periods and my entire personality changed. I was diagnosed by some doctors as bipolar and others as having major depression. I became sexually active a few months before I turned 17 and found that my boyfriends thought I was crazy for three weeks of the month. I felt crazy. I was either so depressed I could barely function or running around like a madman screaming at people. When I came to college my doctors tried many different pills (not birth control), from Zoloft to pills for people who have seizures. I became an even less functioning member of society and eventually had to drop out of school because I was unable to function properly enough to make it to class or to do homework. I began working and used up every vacation, sick and personal day due to my depression and inability to either get out of bed or not become hateful at work. I began dating my now husband at 18 and we had many issues due to my issues and inability to function as other people. I felt insane and believe that for a time I was. My husband and I had used condoms as our first protection until I realized that my yeast infections were directly related to the use of condoms so we had non protected sex (I have endometriosis and believe this is why I did not get pregnant at this time) for about five years. Let me also say that I eat very healthy, exercise regularly, do yoga and have an herbalist. I still had severe periods in which I eventually began taking the strongest muscle relaxers I could find and sleeping through the first two days of my period. For someone who is very careful about what she puts in her body this was horrible for me. Four years ago I began taking birth control pills (I am now 28) and found that although my body had become regulated (a relief in itself) I was still trapped in depression and three and a half years ago quit my job due to my inability to be a reliable employee. When I quit my job I lost my insurance and quit taking the medications the doctors had been giving me. I also had to quit the birth control pills for a while due to money. I was still having mental issues. When money got better I got back on the pills and the change was immediate. I was given two weeks of sanity a month instead of just one.  My relationship with my husband improved so much he asked me to marry him. I was able to go back to school full time. Then I learned I could have my period a few times a year and have been doing it for two years now. This has changed my life. I lived with depression, manic stages, anger, and a feeling that I was going to end up in a hospital for over ten years.  I have no depressive qualities anymore. I have meaningful relationships with others. I graduated from college. The periods I do have are not anywhere near as bad as they used to be and I am able to be a productive wife, daughter, friend and member of society. So would I stop menstruating if I could? I only do four times a year and would not change it for anything. It has given me a life and sanity I never thought I would find. I believe I am more of a woman because of this than I was when I had my period every month. A period does not make you a woman, your acts and kindness to others does.

October 2006


"I plan to have a party when I stop menstruating - today wouldn't be soon enough for me."

A resounding YES!!! I despise having my period every month. I have been experiencing my period since I was 11 years old and my family is known to menstruate into their 50s - 40 years of blood every single month is just too much! I'm a 39-year-old American mother of one and although I am grateful that I was able to have my daughter because of menstruation, I would quit in a minute. I find it to be messy, smelly, sometimes painful, and usually inconvenient. Every vacation, or any other occasion when having it would possibly crank up the difficulty by arriving, it does. Twice this year alone I have had a vacation and a weekend away with my husband (that hadn't occurred in 6 years) ruined by "Aunt Flo."

I plan to have a party when I stop menstruating - today wouldn't be soon enough for me.

October 2006


"I was experiencing a wonderful 'period' of what is known as 'lactational amenorrhea'"

I did stop menstruating for over two years. One might wonder if it was a disease or maybe I'm some super athlete or something. Neither of these is true. I was experiencing a wonderful "period" of what is known as "lactational amenorrhea." It's when a baby's breastfeeding is enough to suppress ovulation and menstruation. I went longer than most women without getting a period. The average time is about 14.5 months postpartum for menses to return. I was 18.5 months postpartum. It was a nice break from having to buy menstrual products or worry about messing up my "good" underwear. Now that my cycle has returned I am quite anxious to become pregnant again for numerous reasons. But the period without my period after baby comes and lochia (bleeding after childbirth) stops really is nice!

October 2006


"It makes me more mentally and spiritually clear."

Hi MUM,

I wouldn't stop. I am a pagan and use my blood in rituals. I like the idea of it, how it connects me with the earth, especially in our modern world. Sometimes it can hurt and I have had periods where I have had to change the tampon every 15 minutes one night (is that healthy? It only happened once) but overall, I like it. It makes me more mentally and spiritually clear.

Take care,
***

October 2006


"I love to feel the cramps. It reminds me of being in labor, and the power that I found there."

I am a 36-year-old woman. I would never give my period up! I like that it is regular, I love to feel the cramps. It reminds me of being in labor, and the power that I found there. The power that resides deep within me, connecting me to all women who have lived before, and all to come. I am connected to the animals, the moon and all of life. I love my period. I am teaching my daughters by example that a period is a good thing, cramps are part of the power of being a woman, and just to be happy not ashamed. I cannot imagine not having my period every month! I think I would feel very strange about not having my period.

 October 2006


No. "I know that science can medicate all that away for me, but like ADD/ADHD and some depressions, I think magic pills take away from the multiplicity of human experience."

I'm a 32-year-old an American mother of three and and a graduate student and an educator in Southern California. I would not, at this juncture in my life, choose to stop my periods or even choose fewer cycles.

I looked forward to starting my period as a girl and was overjoyed when I entered the sorority of women at the start of my menses. In my late teens I began suffering from furious cramping but had only moderate bleeding and relatively short periods (3-4 days). After I found myself unexpectedly pregnant with my son at 24, I decided to take Dep-Provera and after two years was very unhappy with the way my body felt. I was in a permanent state of PMS, overweight and obsessed with what kind of disgusting mass must have grown within my womb in that two year period (oops! a pun!).

My periods gradually gained in length as I became older, and with each birth of a child were markedly heavier. Two years ago I suffered a miscarriage at four months pregnant and nearly hemorrhaged to death. The ER looked like a sound stage for a horror movie, one that had hundreds of victims and a chainsaw in it. Since that miscarriage, I had an IUD inserted which has only aggravated my periods to the point that I bleed through a super-plus tampon and a pad in an hour on my first two days. This is more than a little traumatic - every month I feel some small retroactive mourning and fear because of the association to my miscarriage. Despite this, I would never give up my periods. They are such a part of me - the ebb and flow of my emotions (oops! another pun), the swell and deflation of my breasts, my cranky days, my uber-creative ones, and my favorite time of the month, ovulation, when I can't take my hands off my husband or myself. I know that science can medicate all that away for me, but like ADD/ADHD and some depressions, I think magic pills take away from the multiplicity of human experience. Some women have no problems with their periods, some are plagued by them. I am the woman I am in a large part because of my relationship to my body - my awareness of my cycle, my knowledge of how my parts work, my connection to my fertility.

And so, even if it meant never bleeding on my favorite panties, or not having to take two days off of work each month to curl up with a heating pad and a bottle of Lortab, even if it meant that I would be perfectly rational and never explode with pent up hormonal rage again, I wouldn't trade my periods for the world.

As a side note, in grad school I wrote and presented a paper on Faulkner's Light in August. I argued that the main character is plagued by mental demons because, unlike the female characters in the book, he lacks the capacity to physically cleanse his body of "sins" via menstruation. I argued (rather cleverly in my opinion) that his castration at the end of the book provides him salvation because he sheds his life blood like we shed our endometria. If you're interested in the paper, let me know and I'll happily provide you a copy. [I accepted!]

 Thanks for reading!

October 2006


No. "I like the idea of not being the same emotionally, hormonally, physically, mentally, all the time."

My first thought is yes, that would be nice. I hate the blood and mess every month. I'm lucky to have a fairly average period, which gives me some cramps the first few days (if I'm not quick enough with the ibuprofen I get awful cramps, but they can always be managed with the medicine), some PMS (some months worse than others--I've gone two weeks sometimes with sore breasts before finally getting my period), and a nice 5 day, predictable flow that starts slow and ends slow and never gets unbearably heavy. Even with these things working for me, though, I still manage to get bloodstains on at least one pair of pants about once every 3 months, and sometimes also on the sheets. I don't like the feeling of wearing a pad (I hate the thought of tampons even more, and have never used one), especially towards the end of my cycle when there's just a little bit of blood but I still need something. I do tend towards mood swings and oversensitivity. I hate cramps. I hate worrying about whether or not the dog is going to drag my pads out of the garbage and chew them up, strewing bits of them all over the house (I live with housemates, and don't like this for the embarrassment factor). It's just a pain, and I'm always relieved once it's over for another month. (I'm also lucky in that my period is very regular.)

But. As I thought about this (and I can't justify this answer; it's mostly instinct), I decided I really wouldn't want to give up the cycle, in part because it's so interesting to me. On the first two days of my period especially, I feel a greatly heightened sensitivity which makes me aware of things I wouldn't normally be aware of. My dreams are vivid. I feel creative. (And also like I want to hide in a shack somewhere and not have to deal with people, but hey.) I wouldn't give this up. I like the idea of not being the same emotionally, hormonally, physically, mentally, all the time. I like watching myself to see how my energy is different at different times of the month, seeing how these different energy phases affect what I want to do and what I am able to do. Unless there were some way to retain these cycles and changes and sensitive periods while giving up the blood and cramps, etc., I'd have to say no, I wouldn't give up my period.

(age 24, been menstruating since I was 11)

September 2006


Yes. "I don't need my period to remind me 'Oh yeah, I am a female.'"

Firstly, I'd like to say that I've read many of the comments on the site and I think the feedback (positive or negative) from so many conscious women is a wonderful thing. Many have said that this whole process is about womanhood and being female and showing the pride of your gender. I'd like to tell my story. When I was 11 years old, I started my period. It was extremely light and I could still ride my bicycle or jump on the trampoline, so as you can guess it was not very painful, either. At about the age of 15, it took a drastic turn. Up until that point I had been using regular pads, but all of a sudden it got so heavy that I had to start using overnight pads just to last me for a couple of hours. Along with this I also suffered severe cramps (easily compared to someone taking a knife and stabbing it in your uterus, sides, and back), vomiting, dizziness, and just overall fatigue and laziness. One of my last memories of junior high was due to my period. It was "that time of the month" and I was at school. I had been feeling pretty crummy all day and it was getting close to the end of the day. I was in Physical Science class and all of a sudden the girl beside me looked at me in a horrified, worried sort of way. I felt extremely cold, but sweat was rolling off my face. All I remember during this time was the feeling of all that blood leaving my body and how I wish it'd just stop for a few minutes. Soon after this, I fainted and some very generous classmates had to take me to the office and they called my parents and I went home. It was embarrassing when I finally went back. A lot of guys had no clue and kept asking "What was wrong??" "I thought you were going to die. What's wrong with you??" and I couldn't very well say "Oh, you know... just my menstrual cycle." [Why not? That's a big part of the menstruation problem in the U.S.A. - Harry Finley]

Anyway, my period ended up causing many similar situations all through my high school years. When I turned 17, I decided that I wanted to give blood because I had heard about how it can help save lives and I wanted to do my part. Well, they go through a series of tests before you can actually get to the phase of giving blood. I was denied because I didn't have enough iron, so I told my Mom and she took me to the doctor for blood work. Come to find out, I have iron deficiency anemia. I've been taking iron pills and while my iron levels are borderline normal, I still feel tired and fatigued during my periods. I'm now soon to be 19 in a few weeks and I just started my first semester of college. College is a lot different from high school in many ways. In high school, it was accepted to miss an occasional day and making up a test was not such a big deal. It's best not to miss a test in college because even if you get a professor that is gracious enough to give you a makeup exam, it's usually going to be a lot more difficult than the original one.

I know I probably sound whiney and fragile, but my period has just caused too much extra stress in my life. And the ironic thing is, if I stress over something else happening in my life, my period really likes to tell me about it by coming early, being late, or giving me worse cramps or extra bleeding. I mentioned womanhood and being an empowered female earlier. I love being a woman and I feel empowered because of who I am, but my period does not make me a female. I don't need my period to remind me "Oh yeah, I am a female." While I do understand that one should embrace who they are and try to stay as natural as possible, sometimes it just can't be helped. I don't know that I would actually suppress my period because I don't know the long term effects or how dangerous it can be, but I'm going to talk to my doctor about it because I've really had enough. I really think that a lot of the comments that woman have posted were over judgmental. Just remember that you can't really try to make someone enjoy their "womanhood" until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

- I've Had Enough

September 2006


Menstruation is a painful reminder

Yes. I am 25, am completely infertile, and a period is nothing more than a painful reminder every month that I can't have children.

September 2006


Polish woman is ashamed of menstruation

I know that my English is not perfect but I come from Poland. I hate it when I get my period. It's the worst thing. I am ashamed. I'm not the same person those days. I would stop it.

September 2006


A Malaysian woman, a biologist, says probably, at least for a while. And "[o]ur church was going to the beach for a camp. My twelve-year-old sister and her then-best friend Lyn were on their periods and were a bit upset that they'd be unable to swim at the beach (tampon use is still uncommon in Malaysia due to cultural taboos and the *&@#*! things being priced about RM1 apiece."

Dear Mr. Finley,

I just wrote an entry for my blog about menstruation and the idea of stopping menstruation, and then I remembered that the last time I had looked at the MUM site, you had been asking readers about it. So here are some of my thoughts on the subject. You've probably brought up or had other people bring up similar points on the website already, but I'm not sure because there's so much content I haven't read all of it, so please pardon me if I repeat things others have written:

I read in a book (can't remember the author or title, sorry, but I know it was in the Lawrence University library as of 2004) that anthropologists and biologists kept asking why female primates had evolved such a wasteful behavior as menstruation. You lose energy, proteins, and a substantial amount of iron. Then it occurred to someone to estimate whether not menstruating would save more energy...and it turned out that (according to their estimates, anyway) it's more effective to get rid of endometrium periodically (bad pun alert!) than to bear the energetic cost of keeping all that vasculature and tissue alive.

Then again, the amount of energy saved by this process probably doesn't count for much given the high caloric intake of people in lower-middle-class and up lifestyles. Human society's changing faster than our bodies can.

There's probably something in the theory that the female human body isn't designed to be menstruating on a regular basis, given that so many girls have problems with it, sometimes to the point of incapacitation. Another bunch of anthropologists studied primitive societies and found that women in those societies have a few tens of menstrual periods in a lifetime compared to the hundreds that women in mainstream, urbanised societies experience.

They start later (girls' periods in modern societies are starting earlier and earlier due to more calories in childhood, and possibly environmental pollutants that mimic estrogens), have more pregnancies, and breast feed longer. I don't think the last is simply a consequence of having to rush to the factory/office or brainwashing by milk powder advertisements...it's just that if it's socially acceptable to carry around your baby every single minute and don't wear a bra or even a shirt, it's just easier. (Not having periods while breast feeding lactation amenorrhea if I remember correctly...or would that be amenorrhoea in UK spelling?)

Which brings me to an interesting connection with new technology, which is the birth-control pill that allows you to menstruate only 3-4 times per year. They're made of more or less the same stuff as normal birth-control pills, but you don't take the dummy pills every 28 days so you don't bleed, either. Apparently dancers, athletes, and other women who find periods inconvenient have known about this trick for a long time.

Some people might argue that controlling menstruation in this way is unnatural - precisely why conventional pills have some fake ones in every month, to allow bleeding - but the new counter to that, based on the anthropological findings described above, is that we're NOT supposed to menstruate 12 times a year through our reproductive spans, so the new pills aren't necessarily unhealthy (at least, not for that particular reason).

My personal opinion is that if I get married while I'm young, I would probably use a pill that allowed me to suspend my periods over the conventional kind. Since I'm not affected much psychologically or physically by my cycle, I don't have strong feelings either way.

[The first time I encountered birth-control pills was, strange to say, in the context of controlling menstruation. Our church was going to the beach for a camp. My twelve-year-old sister and her then-best friend Lyn were on their periods and were a bit upset that they'd be unable to swim at the beach (tampon use is still uncommon in Malaysia due to cultural taboos and the *&@#*! things being priced about RM1 apiece).

[Lyn's dad, a gynaecologist gave them some pills and told them to take the pills to stop their periods. So they did, and we all went swimming. But when I told my sister what the pills were, she said "I don't believe you!" Hehe.]

Yours sincerely,

**** [a Chinese name]
Petaling Jaya, Malaysia
age 23, biologist

-----------------

She added these excellent words:
We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. ­ Edward R. Murrow, journalist (1908-1965)

September 2006


Woman from Zambia: menstruation is a"wonderful experience of womanhood," but "very inconvenient especially when . . . traveling."

I myself like to have my periods though most of the time it is very inconvenient especially when you are traveling. But when you are at home it's a wonderful experience of womanhood. It makes us different from men.

[The writer also added the section on Zambia on Words and expressions about menstruation.]

September 2006


"I see it as a curse, a harsh reminder from my body and my brain that if and when I start having sex (yes, I am still a virgin, and plan to remain that way for as long as I possibly can), I'd better be careful to make sure I'm adequately prepared against pregnancy . . . . I don't need this curse to prove that I'm a woman. I have other far less painful and most definitely less disgusting methods of showing that I'm female."

In response to the discussion taking place at your website:

Yes, I would stop if I could. I started getting my period at Easter 1997, when I was nearly 13 - I am now 22, and I truly dread getting it. That year, I got mine twice in the one month at one point. When I don't get it, I celebrate, even though it means it turns my cycle on its head completely. For example - I didn't get my period last month, and as far as I can remember I didn't get it the month before either. A cause for celebration? Oh yes, that it is.

I don't see it as a gift or a blessing. I see it as a curse, a harsh reminder from my body and my brain that if and when I start having sex (yes, I am still a virgin, and plan to remain that way for as long as I possibly can), I'd better be careful to make sure I'm adequately prepared against pregnancy - as a militantly child free woman who absolutely despises the mere sight of children and would happily have an abortion if need be, falling pregnant just because my significant other neglected to use a condom would be the ultimate smack in the face. A punishment, if you will.

I see no possible benefit to it. I often get cramps (both in my lower back and stomach) that are so painful that I can barely walk - I have to dose myself with Nuprofen or Advil (whichever is cheaper at the time - paracetamol doesn't have an effect on the pain, so ibuprofen is my chosen course of action) just to rid myself of the pain. Hot baths or using a hot water bottle don't ease the cramping, and believe me I have tried both. I can't afford to go on the Pill, and seeing as it entails a doctor's visit just to get the prescription for it, I doubt very much it will happen any time soon. I refuse to have children, as I have all of my life, and as the saying goes, if I want to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet I'll put shoes on my cat. I'm a writer - my characters are the perfect substitutes for children, because they will do exactly as I tell them to do, without even the slightest hint of an argument. I don't need this curse to prove that I'm a woman. I have other far less painful and most definitely less disgusting methods of showing that I'm female.

September 2006


Nope. "I've gone for months at a time without my cycle and have never been so uncomfortable in my life, not just because of the 'could be pregnant' factor, but because I felt out of sync."

Nope. I love having my period. I have cramps, for which I take over-the-counter meds or use a heating pad. Blood doesn't bother me. I'm one of the lucky ones.

I've gone for months at a time without my cycle and have never been so uncomfortable in my life, not just because of the 'could be pregnant' factor, but because I felt out of sync. PMS didn't go away just because I stopped bleeding, and I've learned to welcome my period as a relief from the other symptoms. It means my body is functioning as it should and I can relax and know that the moodiness and fatigue are gone for a few weeks.

I feel pity for the women who have such terrible periods. I would probably be less enamoured of mine if they were so bad.

Fabulous web site, btw. I love it!

 August 2006


"No. I see my period as a cleansing function." But maybe in some cases . . . .

No. I see my period as a cleansing function. Men don't have this advantage and the idea (rightly or wrongly) has been floated that they don't tend to live as long because of the lack of this cleansing process. [Some researchers believe that the regular shedding of blood lowers the iron content of the body, which in turn lowers what they feel is a risk of heart disease caused by too much iron. At least that's one take on this. -Harry Finley]  I am 38 years old and have observed the way that drugs and procedures (like tubal ligation, vasectomy, Ritalin , etc.) are usually not the risk-free solution popularly touted. I would have questions as to the affect on the mental, emotional and physical health of my body, and doubts that the benefits (no mess, pain, inconvenience) would outweigh the side-affects. Having said that, if I was having a seriously traumatic time of it, then the benefits may be much higher. It could be a wonderful option for those who have serious need of it. Without that need, I'm guessing that caution would be appropriate.

In USA

August 2006


She responds to a comment about her answer

I wanted to respond to a comment made about what I said in June. I wrote this:

No way! I don't mind having my period. I think women have periods for a reason other than the fact that it enables us to get pregnant. I would never get rid of my period on purpose. At least not for a long time. It's OK to suppress it because you may be going on a trip and don't want the hassle of having your period - but to suppress it forever? No! I like knowing when I'm not pregnant. I'm not saying I look forward to it every month but I'm very comfortable with having a period. It's what makes us special ;^)

June 2006

 Another writer wrote this:

FOR THE ONE WHO SAID SHE LIKED HAVING PERIODS BECAUSE THEY LET HER KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT PREGNANT, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU: YOU CAN STILL HAVE PERIODS AND BE PREGNANT AT THE SAME TIME. THE BEST THING FOR YOU IS USE CONDOMS AND STOP DEPENDING ON YOUR PERIODS TO COME SO YOU CAN REASSURE YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.

I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY LAST CHILD AND HAD A PERIOD FOR THREE MONTHS. WHAT MAKES IT SO BAD IS THAT MY PERIODS WERE AWFUL. I WAS FLOWING HEAVILY, CRAMPING TO THE POINT WHERE I COULDN'T WALK, AND TAKING PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION FOR THE PAIN. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, MY DAUGHTER CAME OUT PERFECT. WHEN MY PERIOD FINALLY STOPPED, I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST AND IT CAME OUT POSITIVE. WHEN I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND GOT AN ULTRASOUND, I WAS ALREADY 4 MONTHS PREGNANT. SO AGAIN TO THE PERSON WHO IS DEPENDING ON HER PERIOD: PLEASE STOP AND START PROTECTING YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

June 2006

 Ok, now I'm responding to the above comment:

What I want to say is that most normal menstruating women don't have a period during their pregnancies;I didn't when I was pregnant. First of all, I'm not some teen running around having unprotected. sex. I'm a 28 -year-old married mother of one child and I have pretty reliable birth control (IUD) that I have had for more than three years so I am protecting myself from pregnancy. Yes, I still think having a period does leave me confident that I'm not pregnant because I never ever in my life missed a period until I was preggers [pregnant]! For her to say don't rely on your period to prove you are not pregnant is a bit ridiculous cuz millions of normal menstruating women besides myself use that as a pretty reliable indicator that pregnancy has not occurred!

In her case she was indeed preggers! I m sorry that happened. However, that's not the norm! Sure, she had a period for a few months during her pregnancy but most women don't.

August 2006


Hungarian woman "not so delighted about ... the 'clever ones,' those girls or women who are trying to teach others a lesson" on this page.

This letter is just a personal observation, I leave it to your discretion whether to publish any of it on your site. No criticism intended, I continue to admire my MUM. :)

I still go and check out your Comments page every week because I'm sincerely interested in the variety of opinions your readers provide. I saw a Croatian girl's comment, and her reaction is close to mine - so good to see there are others like us, hating the monthly curse and finding the courage to express that.

What I'm not so delighted about is the 'clever ones' - those girls or women who are trying to teach others a lesson. Telling others how they should feel, think and act about their menstruation. I've always hated unsolicited advice, maybe it's an inherent fault of mine. I consider it a form of harshly generalized judgment, without real knowledge of the other person's situation.

Your question is, "Would YOU stop menstruating?" Comments like "Yes/No, and (personal reasons for that)" are fine. But comments like "How horrible that some women hate their period! Here's my advice to them..." are not. They're simply out of place because they get personal, even if they don't mention names.

I guess such comments would be great in a discussion thread where the others can make their responses to the "clever one." (I guess she'd be surprised that others have actually thought of, gosh forbid, TRIED, the things she's advocating.)

Alternatively, there could be a separate "Advice to Period Haters" page where these people could freely comment.

This is no request or piece of advice, I myself would hate to play smart. I just wanted to know if I'm the only one bothered by such comments. Also I'd love to know what you think. [I'm going to continue mixing up the comments since I think most people would like to see what others think, even if they strongly disagree as you do.]

Best wishes to you & your cats :) [Thanks! The cats say Hi! OK, at least I can imagine they do. When I try to tell them things like your wishes they cut me short by dozing off, walking away or suddenly washing themselves. You can't be too clean even if you're risking hairballs.]

****

August 2006


No. She has a genetic disorder: "After six months of the Pill, I took myself off and never refilled the prescription. The relief was immediate. I began to take responsibility for my own body."

Frankly, I wish I would do this more often. There was a time, however, that I wished otherwise, and I would have embraced and stood with each of the women for whom their times were achingly, screamingly, howlingly awful, and cried for redress of some kind. To say that I was young and foolish once is a little painful for me, but there was indeed a time when I would cheerfully have liked to have had done with the biology of the thing altogether.

I suppose that all things come in their own time. I've had a little of each perspective, and coming out of it I am a little sadder and a little wiser.

The story of my womb has a happy beginning. The initiation into womanhood was my own delightful secret, for which my mother had lovingly prepared me. I was very pleased when my first blood came, and felt quite happy. It was my twelfth birthday.

Further into adolescence, the mood swings, the headaches, and the generally snarky bits of PMS came and went. The thing wasn't nearly as predictable as I wanted it to be, but I was assured that this too was normal, at least for the women in my family. But by the time I was nineteen, the novelty of the thing had worn off. This was helped along by the fact that my mother and I synched up enough that her PMS was a week before mine, and my PMS was during her period, and then I would have mine. So in our house, there was a whole month of hysterics at a time, with one or two weeks of blessed, blissful normalcy in between. 

I wanted an exorcism for one of us, or a divorce.

When the cramps started getting bad I began wishing it would all go away. It felt like demons trying to claw themselves out of my gut. It interrupted my life, the sanctity of my sleep, everything. 

Later on I was diagnosed with endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome, and put on birth control pills to 'regulate' my cycle. The times of bleeding and not bleeding were channeled into the twenty-eight days of the status quo, as my body was chemically induced to toe the line.

There was something inside though, that refused this sort of coercion. I know not why, but my typically sweet-tempered, even-keeled self became a cold-hearted, kvetching bitch from hell, and there was not one of my friends who knew me then who would not tell you so. I said so myself, and I didn't care.

College was like a nightmare for my body. My period couldn't handle college. It left. Every time I came home or went to visit a friend, it was as though it was pure relief flooding out of me along with my blood. What I had styled as a curse and more or less grudgingly accepted as the way of a woman's life I had begun to really miss, and really want back. I felt I had lost something of myself. 

After six months of the Pill, I took myself off and never refilled the prescription. The relief was immediate. I began to take responsibility for my own body. With better nutrition and a better familiarity with the workings of my body [Toni Welscher's "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is a top-notch book], I was able to come to a place that I believe to be my actual "normal": thirty-five to forty-eight days.

That being said, having a genetic disorder [PCOS] that affects the endocrine system, including the reproductive system, really sucks. So I have come to the place in my life where I have walked through the pain, the deadness and the darkness, and come to accept that my womb is what she is.

So the answer to the question is no, no, a hundred thousand times, no. Give me all that comes or can come with the female experience of regular bleeding, and I will take it as the gift that it is. I embrace it, and all that comes with it.

I feel all kinds of sympathy for those who have expressed their desire to be rid of this part of their experience. I felt that way too once, for nearly all of the same reasons. Each woman's path shapes her perspective into something unique to her. My experience has given me a change of heart, and now I wish to have more of what I once wanted none of at all.

The irony of this is certainly not lost on me; but the beauty of experience is that sometimes it not only makes you stronger, it gives you the gift of a better perspective... and that is very nice. 

Kind regards,
****
25, South Carolina, U.S.A.

"Build a fire for a man and he will be warm for a day. Set fire to a man and he will be warm for the rest of his life."   ~ Terry Pratchett, Jingo

August 2006


Yes. She too has a genetic disorder: "[F]or several years, I had a note in my school file that I was excused from dressing out and participating in gym during my period, and not one teacher respected that note. . . . In my opinion, there are far more arguments against having a period than there are for having one, but this is just my opinion."

Yes. I'm 18 years old, and while this is young, I already know I do not want to bear children and would desperately like to get rid of my period for good. I have a relatively rare blood disorder (von Willebrand's disease), which means my blood is very thin and missing a vital clotting factor. I'm chronically anemic because of extremely heavy periods, and thus have to deal with the tiredness and other symptoms of that. Before I started taking hormones, I'd often go months without a period, only to bleed for many days at a time, or I'd have 10-14 days of heavy bleeding, then a short break, then go right back to bleeding again. At one point, I bled heavily for over a month without stopping. That was what prompted my taking hormones in the first place, and when they got my blood work back, I had a hemoglobin (the protein that helps blood carry oxygen) count of 4, far below that of a normal person!  My doctor was called in the middle of the night, the lab convinced that I should be in a hospital immediately. Of course, I'd been living with it so long that my body was used to it.  

I also experience intense cramps, bloating, diarrhea, lightheadedness, headaches, and backaches while on my periods. Luckily, I have a high pain tolerance. Because of my blood disorder, I cannot take Midol or many other pain medications because of their blood-thinning properties. I'm limited, in essence, to Tylenol for my OTC pain needs. Thus, I generally do without. 

I do not want to bear children. Not only do I not want to pass on this disorder (which is genetic), but it's very possible I could die from blood loss during childbirth. There are also plenty of alternatives to bearing a child of my own, including adoption, and particularly of older children who are less likely to get a second chance. Also, because I am a lesbian, I would have to be artificially inseminated in some way, provided that I chose to bear children. Far too much hassle and trouble for me for something which is dangerous to not only myself but the child in question, when there are plenty of children already living that deserve a good home already. 

No matter how careful I am, periods are messy. I used to wear pads, the heaviest I could find, and had to change them every few hours. Sometimes I would wear a tampon for an hour or two, and still need a pad as backup. For years, I was afraid to wear light-colored pants for fear of staining them. I still have many pairs of jeans that have the insides with stains in the crotch, because the blood didn't wash all the way out. It wasn't carelessness - it's very difficult to check in with the bathroom every two hours when you're a student, especially in high school or middle school where it seems every minute is budgeted for.  Teachers tend not to be very accommodating without a note from a doctor, and even with one are often uncooperative (for several years, I had a note in my school file that I was excused from dressing out and participating in gym during my period, and not one teacher respected that note). 

I do not find my period "cleansing." I feel horrible and sick on its worst days, and drained on all but the lightest of them. It's not because I find the blood disgusting - on the contrary, I would gladly have sex while on my period, as I find it really does tend to lessen cramps, provided my partner wasn't disgusted by the whole affair. A period serves no function for me other than an annoyance whenever it decides to show up, however, and thus I'd gladly be rid of it.  

Now, I'm not saying all women should stop menstruating, but what a woman (or anyone) does with her body is that person's choice. No one will be hurt by it that is not involved in the decision process. One can feel "like a woman" with or without a period every month (if you disagree, speak to a few male to female transsexuals or menopausal women or women who have had all that removed). In my opinion, there are far more arguments against having a period than there are for having one, but this is just my opinion. I just want the freedom to choose whether or not I stop my periods completely.

U.S.A.

August 2006


Maybe, maybe not. "Explaining to my boyfriend that was 16 at the time why I wouldn't have sex with him was like trying to explain astrophysics to a toddler."

For one I want to say thank you for this very informative site. I will never look at Kellogg cereal the same way. About stopping my period and if I would. I really don't know. I say all the time that if I never had a period again I would love it. Before that meant waiting for menopause though. I am 31 years old and was the first girl in my class to get it .BEFORE the horrible videos they showed in school. I was just barely 9 years old. Money was tight and we got these uncomfortable irritating boxes of generic pads. I was horrified to have to take them to school to change them. Then I think I would have stopped it for sure.When I was older, maybe 12, I refused to use the generic pads and told my mother I would just not wear them and go without. I started using Tampax. You know I didn't worry about virginity [see the famous Tampax ad] I was just so pleased to get rid of that horrible pad. Then things were not so bad. I became sexually active and, my gosh, that period got in the way. I hated it. Explaining to my boyfriend who was 16 at the time why I wouldn't have sex with him was like trying to explain astrophysics to a toddler. I mean I could spell it out but he still wanted to play. I feel naughty though because he always got his way ;) A few years ago they introduced a shot ,well, more than a few. I have had two kids. Relax, I was 21 and 26 when I got pregnant. Then I tried the Depo shot. I did not get a period. I found myself checking though quite a bit. Then after 6 months with no show I was worried. I decided the shot wasn't for me.. I gained weight from it and hated it. So after I went off of it. It took like 3 months. I had a period I know for three weeks straight. I decided I would not do that anymore. But back to the question. I am still not sure. I feel bad for the girls who have periods for 5-10 days. I have always had them for two days or roughly 42 hours. But trust me, my body gets me. I have severe headaches and ovary pain from ovulation. Not cramps, this is a pinching feeling that is quite weird. I have the option and it is there. One day I may decide to nix my period. I have had my period for 20 years. I am thinking 15 more won't hurt me but the option is not out of the question. Thanks for reading.

**** In Montana

August 2006


No. "I chanced to take Seasonale, and rather enjoyed the three months I got to go without bleeding, but after a year, my whole body started working differently!"

There is no way in Hell I'd choose to stop my period for good! I tried stopping it for a while, but that just screwed me up! 

I chanced to take Seasonale, and rather enjoyed the three months I got to go without bleeding, but after a year, my whole body started working differently! I was having trouble sleeping, having severe stomach problems, and my periods got longer, heavier, and more painful as I progressed. I am one of the lucky ones to rarely have pain and heavy bleeding, so this was extremely disconcerting. I eventually decided to stop taking it, giving myself a few months without any birth control to let my body get back into its normal routine. My stomach and sleep problems stopped. However, when it came time to get back on my previous BC, Ortho Tri Cyclen, I found that it no longer worked properly. I had breakthrough bleeding and cramping all the time! (I had to get on regular Ortho Cyclen) I think my body functions differently now. My periods are definitely heavier.

I feel terrible for the women who can't or won't embrace their periods. I realize that with some women menstruation is too frequent, too heavy, too painful, etc, but there ARE ways of helping that. They are not, however, crying about it and feeling sorry for yourself. If your doctor won't help you, kick him out and find someone more sympathetic to your troubles. This is something you cannot help but have. This is your gift, though it may not seem that way. You bleed each month because each month you have the potential to create LIFE. Screw being envious of men. We create men! We can make men and women right in our bodies! And it is a beautiful and amazing privilege! Even if I had painful periods all the time, I wouldn't give them up for the world.

To the woman who is glad of her period for heralding her non-pregnancy, I feel you. And to the woman who decided to berate her IN ALL CAPS for her supposed foolishness, I think you should assume less. The way I see it, I like my period for assuring me I'm not pregnant. I don't use it as the only defense against pregnancy, as I'm sure the other woman didn't either; it's just reassuring. I use the Pill and condoms, but there's always the chance that something could go wrong. My period lets me know everything's still cool.

 -****

August 2006


"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"

I have to say a resounding yes to that question.

I've been menstruating since I was 11 years old; they started with minimal pain and almost no cramps, but that ended very quickly. From the age of 13 I've been suffering with menorrhagia and dysmenorrhoea, chronic depression, cyclic migraines, spotting, hot flushes, acne, bloating, dizziness, loss of appetite, insomnia, vomiting and diarrhoea. All have been linked to my menstrual cycle. I had an accident at 17 that left me with internal bruising to my lower back, and as I already had minor scoliosis (inoperable), more pain ensued. Now, though I was told there is no noticeable permanent damage, every time I menstruate, which is irregular and sometimes as often as twice a month, I am literally almost crippled with pain for days on end - almost always a full week. It's been so bad that I have ended up doubled over the toilet vomiting in pain, despite my morphine-based pain medication! I bleed heavily even on the first day of my period, and frequently don't get any cramps beforehand to warn me to wear a pantyliner. I use super-plus tampons and I have to replace them every two and a half hours because my blood flow is so heavy. I have been prescribed mefenamic acid to reduce the menorrhagic problems and to eliminate the reason I was taking birth control pills, as they were causing me PMS even worse than before. I have several coexisting conditions, so I have to take six medications daily regardless of anything extra that might stop my menstruation. The possible infertility implicit in all these possible hormone alterations isn't a factor in my considerations - I don't want children. I never have and I seriously doubt that I ever will. Hormonal supplements don't seem to have any effect on my appearance either, as I have had large breasts and an almost hourglass figure since I was 12. I'm now 20 years old, and have another two decades or more of menstruation to look forward to(!). Luckily for me, to get it over with, the women in my family have a history of early menopause. I also have to keep to a strict diet, a fairly healthy one, because I have a multitude of migraine triggers besides my periods. I'm in almost constant pain daily. I do not need the extra that menstruation piles upon me.

Would I stop this hell if I could?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

****, England

August 2006


"It's not rocket science. Less chemicals and medications are the answer - not more."

No.

If your bleeding is too heavy or painful then work out WHY. Don't go to a M.D. - medication funds their practice mostly - stop taking all the medications you can, eat real food (organic, no processed rubbish), exercise and see a naturopath/herbalist. There are some really simple herbs (raspberry leaf, shepherd's purse, yarrow, cohosh) that make a real difference. [See also the remedies visitors have sent MUM.] Get the chemicals out of your life - plastics leach synthetic oestrogens into your food, especially plastic wraps and when microwaved/heated. Anybody wonder why us "modern" women have so many troubles - early menstruation, infertility, obesity, PMS, menopause - we lead quite unnatural lives? It's not rocket science. Less chemicals and medications are the answer - not more.

Have sex if you want to when you're bleeding - men need to get over their fear of blood - it's only your mind holding you back.

Breastfeed as long as you can - it resets your hormones and minimises your lifetime menstruation - mammals are supposed to be breastfed for about the first 4 years of life (not as a sole source of nutrition after six months of course!).

No quick fixes here - men invented those - real healthy lifestyle instead.

P.S. I have a gorgeous friend who developed psychotic depression whilst on the combined pill - what a horrible illness that was for two years. Came off the Pill and guess what? We have the beautiful woman 100 percent back with us, within weeks she was recovering. It's shit medication. You deserve better.

Australian

July 2006



Portuguese: No

"I'm a 22-year-old girl from Portugal and sometimes I wish I could stop my period. I get it monthly 'cause I'm taking the Pill. Still, it lasts for a week, which is very annoying. My biggest problem is not the awkward kidney, belly and headaches the first two days. It is the way that menstruating can mess with my head. I get too much sensible, and too much dumb. I mean in a way that you can find me either crying like hell, or laughing like the world's collapsing tomorrow, and that's the only great thing to do. It opens much more my mind, and suffocates me with the way it puts my mind in to thinking constantly (which I always do) when I'm tired of it. I get paranoia. Sometimes I wish I could have a button to turn off for a few days. I want to have kids, but being menstrual can irritate me pretty bad.

"Cheers"

July 2006


Croatian 16-year-old hates menstruating: "Before coming across this site, I never knew that there were women who felt as strongly (and negatively) about this as I do, and now I finally don't feel alone anymore thanks to some brilliant comments on these pages." [There are six Web pages and hundreds of comments from readers, pro and con, starting right below.]

I'm 16. I got my first period at the age of ten. It was literally gut-wrenching and traumatic but lasted only a day. I got my next period when I was 12 and since then they've been coming every 25-40 days. That first day when I was 10 I knew my life would just go downhill from there. And I was totally right! And, guess what? Despite everyone always going on about how natural it is, I HATE IT!!! I'm an atheist but if I were religious I'd hate my god/goddess for cursing me and taking so much of my life away from me. No offense to religious people, just my opinion. I don't despise men but I envy them every second of my life. When I hear women going on about the beauty of their cycle I don't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry bitterly. Although I've never experienced PMS or any pain since my menarche, it has been my greatest wish for years to stop the damn thing forever. I mean, what did I do to deserve so many ruined ski-trips, summer vacations, sports events etc.etc.? I only found out about ways to suppress menstruation recently and while I'm aware of the possible drawbacks, I DON'T CARE!!! I want to have kids some day but nothing is worth this constant humiliation so I'd even sacrifice that if necessary. Pills, hysterectomy, weight-gain, pimples, damage to bone density- just bring it on and LIBERATE ME ONCE AND FOR GOOD!! Before coming across this site, I never knew that there were women who felt as strongly (and negatively) about this as I do, and now I finally don't feel alone anymore thanks to some brilliant comments on these pages.     

July 2006


American 13-year-old: "When I begin to bleed . . . and I read the comments of others I know that I am the same as most every other woman. It's some kind of reassurance."

I would not stop my period if I could. I have only had to deal with it since last November, and I am not one of the lucky few who get them light. It has caused me no small amount of stress, worry, and pain, but in some strange way I look forward to it each month, even though it's painful and has destroyed several pairs of underwear, a pair of shorts, and a leather jacket (Yes, a jacket. It's a bit of a long story.)

I think in some way I feel like it is a bond with all women, one of my few assurances that I'm normal. In terms of personality and outlook on life I have a tendency to believe I am drastically different from everyone else. When I begin to bleed, however, and I read the comments of others I know that I am the same as most every other woman. It's some kind of reassurance.

I am actually on it now and this time it means cramps, back pain, and leg fatigue. Today is a day where I feel I should have stayed in bed. I have had only 5 hours of sleep, woke up at 6:30, am in pretty much constant pain, have tripped over a puppy gate, spilled half a box of dry pasta, and fell asleep on the couch and woke up to the dog having made a mess.

My period assures me that I am healthy and similar to half of the earth's population. I want to have children one day. I would certainly not mind putting a halt to this particular cycle, but I would not stop my cycles altogether if I could.

13, Ohio

July 2006


Yes. "People take plenty of other medications that alter their bodies without thinking twice."

I am a 43-year-old from the U.S. who has had her periods now for 33 years! I'm writing this from home due to missing yet another day from work because of my periods. Today it is flooding that is the problem. I had my tubes tied 11 years ago, and the doctor at that time refused to do a hysterectomy or oophorectomy [removal of the ovaries] to stop my periods, saying I was "too young." I have ruined clothes, furniture, even seats in a theater after a surprise showing. My family and I can't plan trips, because it comes as it sees fit - two weeks, three weeks, six weeks, and can stick around for 3-10 days. My last doctor removed me from his service because I was on the phone crying last month (from home again) needing some kind of help and he refused me. I am now doctor shopping for someone to help. I really can't take this much longer. I am going to lose my job, and I'm the only source of income for our family.

This doesn't make me feel like a woman. It makes me feel dirty, like hiding all day. I feel like a woman when I can put on a pretty dress, not worry it'll get stained, and be intimate with my husband. I feel like a woman if my husband can hug me without me squinching from the pain of tender breasts. People take plenty of other medications that alter their bodies without thinking twice. They pop Ritalin into their kids' mouths like candy. I just want freedom from this chain around my body. The bloating, the pain (which I had LONG before I ever heard of PMS), I wake up from a sound sleep in agony. I want OFF this ride.

If menstruation were really essential for humans to live, men would do it too. Quite frankly, if men did it, it would have been OUTLAWED years ago!!! [Gloria Steinem might agree - read her views on "If Men Could Menstruate"]

June 2006



"I don't want to keep going on for the rest of my life like this never knowing what's going to happen because my periods come when they get ready and not one but two and three times."

I'm still a young woman (age 29) who is going through so much with this female problem. I have complication after complication with my menstruation. Yeah, one of the problems is bleeding heavily but the main problem is have a period 2 to 3 times a month for 6 days each. No spotting here and there but flowing like the Mississippi River - CRAMPING LIKE HELL. Every time I have a period I have outrageous cramps that I take prescription medication for and this lasts for 3 days.

So to the person who is horrified because there are some women who want to have their periods stop: I have no clue what's going on with you but I couldn't care less how long this been around. Some of us have it harder than others but this is one thing I prefer not to have. I don't want to keep going on for the rest of my life like this never knowing what's going to happen because my periods come when they get ready and not one but two and three times. If there's a pill out there that will stop me from having periods, I will take it without looking back. For the ones who are wondering, I have two kids and will not have another one, so the miracle pill I will take in a heartbeat.

[Later, she added:]

FOR THE ONE WHO SAID SHE LIKED HAVING PERIODS BECAUSE THEY LET HER KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT PREGNANT, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU: YOU CAN STILL HAVE PERIODS AND BE PREGNANT AT THE SAME TIME. THE BEST THING FOR YOU IS USE CONDOMS AND STOP DEPENDING ON YOUR PERIODS TO COME SO YOU CAN REASSURE YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.

I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY LAST CHILD AND HAD A PERIOD FOR THREE MONTHS. WHAT MAKES IT SO BAD IS THAT MY PERIODS WERE AWFUL. I WAS FLOWING HEAVILY, CRAMPING TO THE POINT WHERE I COULDN'T WALK, AND TAKING PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION FOR THE PAIN. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, MY DAUGHTER CAME OUT PERFECT. WHEN MY PERIOD FINALLY STOPPED, I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST AND IT CAME OUT POSITIVE. WHEN I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND GOT AN ULTRASOUND, I WAS ALREADY 4 MONTHS PREGNANT. SO AGAIN TO THE PERSON WHO IS DEPENDING ON HER PERIOD: PLEASE STOP AND START PROTECTING YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

June 2006


Yes. "Enough is enough"

"I bleed for 14 days straight and stop for 5 then bleed 14 more days. This had been for the last 8 years and I am sick of it. Apparently it is hormonal but enough is enough. I never want a period ever again."

June 2006


"I can't help but wonder if it is the result of the garbage being fed to girls and women nowadays, the garbage that says: 'try to suppress your femaleness as much as you can.'"

I've been menstruating since I was almost nine years old and I would never purposely stop my period. The only time that no period is okay with me is when I am pregnant (or in the future when I hit menopause). I think it is very unhealthy that women are messing with their bodies to such extent these days. No one knows what effects these hormones and pills are going to have ten years from now, or thirty, for fifty, no matter how much the drug companies try to convince us otherwise. I would much rather let my reproductive system do what nature designed and perfected it for! To me, it represents an important phase in my womanhood, as well as my wonderful ability to bear children. In short, I feel that it is a gift.

I find it very sad that so many women "hate" their periods and are so eager to stop it. I can't help but wonder if it is the result of the garbage being fed to girls and women nowadays, the garbage that says: "try to suppress your femaleness as much as you can." In the past, women were held back because of their gender. Nowadays, we're held back unless we want to leave our femininity at the door. We are still being molded by others' ideals, only now it has been repackaged as something "desirable."

Our bodies were made to bleed every month for a reason. Normally, when a woman of childbearing age stops menstruating and she isn't pregnant, it means she is sick or something is wrong. It is dangerous and shallow to change years of evolution for the sake of "convenience."

June 2006


"No! I like knowing when I'm not pregnant."

No way! I don't mind having my period. I think women have periods for a reason other than the fact that it enables us to get pregnant. I would never get rid of my period on purpose. At least not for a long time. It's OK to suppress it because you may be going on a trip and don't want the hassle of having your period - but to suppress it forever? No! I like knowing when I'm not pregnant. I'm not saying I look forward to it every month but I'm very comfortable with having a period. It's what makes us special ;^)

June 2006


No. "It HORRIFIES me how some women just casually say yes to putting hormones and other foreign things into their body to stop this natural process."

Hi, I'm writing in response to your question "Would You Stop Menstruating If You Could?"

My answer is no.

Why change something that has been around for as long as millions of years, as long as the history of mankind? Menstruation is purely natural and in my opinion, it is NOT good to interfere with a natural process in your body. It HORRIFIES me how some women just casually say yes to putting hormones and other foreign things into their body to stop this natural process. It's just like telling the world to stop turning, telling the seasons to stop changing, if you get what I'm saying.

However, I fully respect other women's decisions to stop their menstruation IF they are having severe problems with their monthly cycle. I had a friend who had terrible PMS and cramps, and my cousin told me that her aunt (from another side) often fainted when she had her menstruation because they were very painful. I don't have a wide knowledge of menstrual disorders, but I know that they can really affect some women's lives.

Ok, so I'm moody, I'm bloated, my back hurts, I have cramps, my appetite is increased, I'm tired, and sometimes I'm anaemic when I have my period. So you see I'm not one of those people who have cramp-free, pain-free, fuss-free periods. It's annoying but it's only for a few days out of the whole month. This might sound freakishly weird but I love my period. Yes, let me repeat that, I love my period. I have terrible cramps and I wear pads, so it's always pretty messy and tiring for me. But there's just something relieving and calming about getting my monthly period. It reminds me that I'm still functioning, that I'm still alive, I'm still a woman, and it reassures me of who I am. It brings a sense of 'normality' and 'regularity' to me.

I've read a lot of comments saying how tiresome and messy and inconvenient it is to have periods. My question is, have you tried ALL different ways to make your period more comfortable? Are you wearing the most convenient type of pads/tampons/cups? For example, if you know that pads aren't working for you and you would leak out at night when you're sleeping, why don't you try the other alternatives? If you have severe cramps why don't you try massaging the area or even Google some PMS-relieving activities? Do you have a healthy lifestyle? I know this won't work for ALL of you out there but have you even tried to 'improve' the quality of your period?

I read a lot of comments about how people make a mess every time their period comes because it's unpredictable. With most women, the menstruation cycle IS predictable. Make a note about when your last period is, and ALWAYS bring a tampon/pad/whatever wherever you go around the date of your last period. I'm never caught off guard now since I always carry a pad around. It's all about planning and prevention. I'm surprised about how some people haven't thought about this at all.

Lastly, learn to love your body and who you are as a woman, stop comparing yourself to the 'comfort' and the 'easiness' of men's lives because WE ARE DIFFERENT. I am absolutely horrified when I read comments like "I hate my uterus," menstruation is "disgusting" and "unwanted," or any comments that indicate that expresses hate towards their own bodies just because it's inconvenient for them. Please.

And no, this is not coming from a 60-year-old menopausal woman who does not have to suffer the woes of the menstrual cycle anymore. I'm 18, and I have had my period for 6 years and so far, it has been a unique experience for me.

So I suggest to all of you who are considering stopping their menstrual cycles: Ask yourself,

Is it really safe to stop this all natural cycle which has existed ever since mankind was born (well, supposedly)?

What am I really putting inside my body and what does it REALLY do? Don't just say yes for convenience's sake.

How bad is my PMS and how has it affected my daily life? Is it life-threatening? Is it that serious?

Am I really suffering from PMS? Is it just a psychological thing? (e.g I didn't have PMS AT ALL until I heard about it. I swear.)

How would I feel if I suddenly stopped menstruating? Would I lose my 'identity'? Would I be comfortable?

Have I done all the things that could improve my comfort during my period? Exercise? Types of pads/tampons? Natural remedies?

Thanks for reading my opinion and I'm sorry if I hurt anybody's feelings.

I'm Asian but I moved to Melbourne, Australia and have been living there for 3 years.

Thanks!

June 2006

No. "I will mourn my youth, but not miss the inconvenience, the stains, the bloating, . . . "

Would I stop menstruating?

Well, it's almost a moot question at this point - I'm 48. Still bleeding like clockwork, but much lighter 'days' and the end is undoubtedly within a few years. I will mourn my youth, but not miss the inconvenience, the stains, the bloating, the occasional cramps, and the constant searching for that last stray tampon left in a jacket pocket, my knapsack, the glove compartment, the back of a drawer so that I could make it to the store to get more.

As a side note: From my thirties on, every winter before putting my winter clothes away I would 'seed' a pocket in each jacket with a tampon so there'd always be one available in a crunch. Also when I open the box - if I've run out I buy two boxes - I distribute them from the first into knapsacks, carry bags, drawers, etc., in case I haven't gotten to the stores before the last box runs out, because for me, its not something I ever think of until "that time."

Would I have chosen to never have it? No. I feel connected to other women around me and throughout time, I like the bond. I almost always get my period right around or after the full moon also, and I like that vague connection to the moon/ the universe. But in my teens and twenties I would gladly have stopped it for ten years or so. In my thirties and forties I had become much more leery of pharmaceutical companies "anything for a buck" attitude, and of doctors' wanton distribution of drugs and chemicals without knowledge of, or apparent concern for, long-term effects (DES, thalidomide, early birth control pills, hormone replacement therapy).

My emotional symptoms have always been very pronounced, and though there is a familial correlation - five sisters and a mom with similar mood swings - I also have recognized through the years, as others have noted, that most of the problems stem from diet and lifestyle issues exacerbated by hormonal fluctuations. I would list constant low grade dehydration - coffee doesn't count as a rehydrator, ladies! : ) - as one of the main agents of trouble, followed by lack of proper sleep and sleep habits.

Once I committed in life to a healthy, 90 percent organic lifestyle, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, removing stressors from my life (yes, even changing my job, even though it means I won't / don't have as many material things as other Americans), I became happier, healthier, and my periods are virtually annoyance-free, with the exception of hoping I can find that one last tampon somewhere!

Thanks for a great site.

May 2006


NO! "CELEBRATE YOUR WOMANHOOD!"

Why is it that society has attempted for eons to suppress the powers of woman? The menstrual cycle is as natural as breathing and to suppress it because humanity has not been educated properly is a grave oversight to the magical creation of man that the menstrual cycle is a part of. It is unfortunate that men specifically have not been fully educated and thus have had an adverse response to something so natural in a woman's experience. I have been blessed with men in my life that have no issues with menstruation and sex or menstruation in any form. To suppress menstruation is to suppress being a woman. When we learn to embrace menstruation as a powerful psychic aspect of who we are we as humanity will finally start to evolve into stellar beings. I myself use to loath having my cycle, then I started to read, explore and understand the healing power of menstruation. Menstrual blood has been used to fertilize plant life (I give it to my plants - they love it!) Used to mark areas around the home with the mark of the goddess protecting all that reside within. I used to get tremendous cramps so much so that I would have to take time out ( I don't use medication) - then I started welcoming my menstruation and honouring its power in my life. December 2005 was the last time I had a painful menstrual cycle. Now the first sign of spotting and I WELCOME my menstrual cycle and honour the strength that it gives me. CELEBRATE YOUR WOMANHOOD!

****, Vancouver, Canada

May 2006


YES! "My womanhood has been proven!!"

I would stop in a heartbeat if I could. I have been a teenager bleeding, a young woman bleeding and a mother bleeding and now I'm tired of bleeding.

My womanhood has been proven!!

****

May 2006


Yes. "It's hard to explain to my professors why I miss classes once a month and why for a week I have to fan myself and sit by an open window . . . ."

I would stop my cycle if I could. Although I do love going through the naturalness of my body I feel that many times it gets in the way. When I menstruate I tend to have crippling cramps and hot flashes. This is very hard to have as a college student. It's hard to explain to my professors why I miss classes once a month and why for a week I have to fan myself and sit by an open window even if it's the middle of winter and there is snow outside. However I would only do it if later on in my life I could regain it in order to have children. Another drawback I feel of having your cycle is the lack of sex during that week.

College student, age 20

May 2006


No. "I guess what I am saying is suck it up quit bitching about something you were meant to have and if you are going to pick up any kind of pill make it Midol."

I would love to stop the cramping, but as for having a period I am very happy to be regular again. I did the Depo-Provera shot for a couple years and it really caused a lot of problems. I was facing never being able to have children and in the emergency room for 10 hours b/because I had a miscarriage after being off the shot for five months. I went through a bunch of bullshit, taking hormones and shit to regulate my period. Thankfully a year later I am once again regular and loving it. Yes, it gets annoying when you want to be intimate with your significant other but girls, it's only a week, we're women, our periods are like our trademark be proud to be a woman. Remember: no period, chances are no children. Birth control highly interferes with your chance to have children and I know I want to have a family. I guess what I am saying is suck it up quit bitching about something you were meant to have and if you are going to pick up any kind of pill make it Midol.

May 2006


No. "Believe me, the nun left much to be answered and talk about confused . . . I thought I would start bleeding near my inner upper thighs and have a baby shortly after."

No. Absolutely not. I would not choose to stop menstruating. I have always had strange "periods," heavy for three days, skip a month, light for two days and heavy with cramping for eight . . . never predictable. However, I believe that having a menstrual period is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. If we in America talked about and enlightened our youth of the coming of age process and sex, if we were more open about these topics, I believe many people would be happy and happier. I imagine if my parents would have told me about this, and not have had to learn from a nun during catechism, that there would have been less confusion and mayhem in my adolescent life. Believe me, the nun left much to be answered and talk about confused . . . I thought I would start bleeding near my inner upper thighs and have a baby shortly after. I had no idea what actually took place, and this was in the 1980s in America! Come on people. Let's be a little more open as a society.

Thanks for your great web site.

****

May 2006


"I had a microwave endometrial ablation 15 months ago and it stopped my periods completely. Absolute bliss."

I've just been reading your excellent site, and found the bit asking for people to email their comments re would they stop menstruating if they could.

Well, I did - I had a microwave endometrial ablation 15 months ago and it stopped my periods completely. Absolute bliss. At last I can plan days out without having to work out dates first.

I suffered for 23 years with heavy periods, and finally something was done about it. It wouldn't surprise me if most of those who say they wouldn't stop menstruating are those with "normal" periods. Those of us who suffered every month would probably differ.

It's about time something was brought out that would stop women having periods, hardly necessary anymore are they?

****, London

May 2006


"I'd sacrifice anything to live without that nasty obligation."

Hell, yeah, I'd stop my period if I could. My fantasy is to never menstruate... EVER. Even though my periods are very light, no cramps, no cravings, slight bloating, slight breakouts and slight breast tenderness. It's just that annoying thing, the flow, the paranoia, the discomfort and all that other bullshit. I'd sacrifice anything to live without that nasty obligation."

May 2006


"Mess with mother nature and the natural order of things and you will reap what you sow."

I find it shameful that our society puts so little emphasis on the natural way of life. The norm in our society is to drug ourselves, our loved ones, our children and our animals. It is completely UNNATURAL to not get your period on a regular basis. If you do not get your period on a regular basis SEE A DOCTOR to find out why not. There is something wrong with your reproductive system.

I KNOW that once all you women jump on this bandwagon of never having a period no matter what your age that about 10 years down the road when 80% of you find out you can never have children because of what you have been pumping into your bodies has caused permanent infertility, cancer or a host of other, what the pharmaceutical companies will call "unrelated issues" you will begin to sue the very same companies you have made VERY VERY rich.

Have we already forgotten about the silicon breast implants that have scared and murdered countless women. What about Agent Orange in the Vietnam war? Our own country poisoned their own troops and denied it. Please remember that the bottom line for these pharmaceutical companies is the almightily dollar. They will and have hired doctors to say that the period you get every month is "fake" or a "phantom," not necessary. Mother nature does not and never will do "unnecessary." In the natural order of things it is survival of the fittest and the fittest women on the planet have a period every 30 days or so. It's natural and is as it should be.

Ask yourselves why our daughters are now beginning to ovulate at the tender age of eight years old??? It's due to the fact that we feed them UNNATURAL food, such as dairy and meat products that have been pumped full of GROWTH HORMONES for generations. We dump pesticides and herbicides on all our produce, we drink more soda (sugar, caffeine and carbonation) than any other beverage on the planet, which has been linked to brittle bones. As well there has been links to brittle bones and not getting your period. We consume highly processed, highly unhealthy foods every day. Did you know that if you do a bit of strenuous exercise on the day you get your period the pain will go away?! We need to treat our bodies with respect, putting only healthy foods and drinks in them, exercise and get proper amounts of sleep. If we do that many of the problems that plague us today will be gone tomorrow.

Mess with Mother Nature and the natural order of things and you will reap what you sow.

May 2006


An angry immigrant writes from Canada

"I am very angry on God like what the point of view to give women this kind of responsbility. It is a big responsibility. I want to rid of that but I can't because ........................... ya . Why women get pregnent only. Gaush I am so mad on nature .their rules are so gaush wrong. You know u have to take care a lot about your self that what I hate about. After every month you will get periods. Why? Why? Why? Big process though. Nobody will discover that how can we rid of this periods. If anybody find any information than please tell me first. We can just talk but we can't do anything. That what I hate about."

May 2006


"Women . . . get the none-too-subtle reminder each month that they're primarily just child factories."

YES!! I wonder when Nature will get a clue. I keep asking myself, why ever was it such a great idea to design human females that way, so they can be impregnated each and every month? It's not good. Not for humans, not for the overexploited Earth. But back to the question: why was it a good idea at the start, when human anatomy was drafted? I have only one logical answer. Nature had to ensure the survival of an endangered human race, so she took extreme measures.

Well, it backfired. Now humans are too many, so we have to literally fight against conception. Products related to the female anatomy (contraceptive devices, general and menstrual hygiene items) are littering the Earth at an alarming rate. And women have to face 30+ years of monthly bleeding just to have children, of which few can afford more than two. So decades of mess for two kids. I just don't see how this is good and healthy.

I have a 15-year menstrual history, and I wish it was history indeed. Each month I cry in front of my husband, not because of any special trouble since I'm an average bleeder with no PMS, but out of sheer intellectual frustration over the female condition.

Men move around freely, and becoming a biological parent is a simple one-night act for them. Women, though, get the none-too-subtle reminder each month that they're primarily just child factories. It might have been a blessing some million years ago. Now it's an outdated, over-the-top inconvenience. Women spend their most active and fulfilling years trying to deal with bleeding and cramps and mess a week every month. That's nothing less than degrading.

I've made up my mind. Yesterday I asked hubby how many kids he wants, we agreed on two. I'll do my best getting pregnant and going through the natural phases of motherhood. But then, sayonara to the monthly bleeding. I'll either opt for Mirena which allows some minimal bleeding, or go straight for the big guns like the Depo shot or the Anya pill. I'm committed to better every aspect of my life as a modern human being. I want a quality life, not a second-rate life as a female reproductive unit with teeth and two legs. It's that simple.


May 2006

She later wrote,

Dear Harry,

I just saw this email, thank you for replying personally (and for featuring my comment, too)! By the way, I'm a 28-year-old Hungarian woman. I feel that we have less information and less options here than women in the US. What I know about Mirena, the Depo and the menstrual cups, I know from the web.

Your site has been a great source of information and comfort for me! I can't begin to tell you how thankful I feel. For the first time in my "adult" (=menstruating) life, I feel like I have a right to voice my feelings and consider my options. I feel like I can do so without being judged, patronized and hushed. Instead of suffering silently, I feel like I have choices, even in this sensitive area.

While most men just enjoy their biological luck and make cruel jokes about women's menstrual problems, you make every effort to understand the female cycle and share a wealth of information about it. Wow. Thank you, not only for the information, but for being objective and sympathetic.

Each site page peels off a thin layer of the thick crimson-colored shame I've developed about this issue.

The experience is like an "intellectual menstruation" that I can welcome and cherish. Forgive the parallel :)

In two little words: THANK YOU.

Warm regards,


"Nature can shove it"

This is a good thing that they're making something to stop periods. I mean, come on, why would a 13-year-old want a child? They're not even thinking about it. Mother Nature can shove it. We're going to die anyway. The human race will destroy itself so who cares. Men don't have a cleaning process - are they dead? No, so why can't we live without it? If we want to have kids just stop taking the Pill. People who write think like that don't think woman's life would be better with out it. [I'm not sure I understand that last sentence.]

-15-year-old girl

P.S. It's messing up my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May 2006


"I wanted to stop menstruating and I got it, and it was a living hell!"

My answer to that now would be a resounding "Hell no." I used to wish all the time that I would not get my period. For years I pretty much didn't and if I didn't it would be anywhere from 3-6 months in between each cycle. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. During this time I got really bad cramps and an extremely heavy flow. I had gone to my OBGYN [obstetrician-gynecologist] and all the blood tests came back normal, but she said I was a little low in T4 but still within the "normal" range. I figured something had to be off with me because I was always so tired and wanted to sleep. I think that even though I was in the normal range that the amount of T4 I had was wrong for my body which is why I think I had a mild form of hypothyroidism. So the doctor put me on the Pill, but the only thing that would help me with getting my period is not helping with my underactive thyroid. I stayed on the Pill for several months but I looked into other options. I couldn't take the Pill anymore because I kept forgetting so I stopped. I went to my local healthfood store and asked the lady what she had for irregular cycles. She gave me Emerita Pro-Gest Body Cream. I used it as directed and after 3 weeks I finally got my period. It was great because it wasn't as heavy or painful as it normally was when I got it. I used it religiously for about 3 months but after that I got lazy or I forgot to take it. So instead of it being the usual 3-6 months it was ony 2 months since my last period.

It's weird I'm not using Pro-gest now but I'm still getting my period every 40 days and it's light and not painful. Mother Nature sent me a zinger because you reap what you sow. I wanted to stop menstruating and I got it, and it was a living hell! But would I stop menstruating if I could? Not a chance!

May 2006


"I don't need to have a cycle anymore!"

Yes, I would love to be able to stop my periods. I have had really painful and bad periods for about three years now. I recently had a test run to make sure that I didn't have any tumors because my periods have gotten so bad over the years. Everything turned out normal.

I have had two children and have been fixed! I don't need to have a cycle anymore! I wish there was a procedure to stop periods other than a hysterectomy. Let me know if there is something to do to stop them [endometrial ablation, hormone pills]. I would do it!!!

32 years old, United States.

Sincerely, ****

May 2006


"I want the hormone cycle itself to stop -- no more un-control-able moods!"

I would if I could. I found this site while looking for a a way to stop my periods without the harmful effects of hormone pills. I would stop, not because of feeling "dirty" or "unclean," not even because my periods are so painful I've been in the hospital from them -- but because I want the hormone cycle itself to stop -- no more un-control-able moods! Any suggestions? I don't want kids, but I'd like to have my moods and sex life back -- so let me have a -choice- and my choice is no more periods!

April 2005


"I don't trust this first wave of meds. Our bodies are delicately balanced and I won't risk mine to a first generation pill that will cause such a disruption."

Yes and no.

Yes: The ideal situation would be to not menstruate until I wanted a child, then end it again when I decide to. But I don't trust this first wave of meds. Our bodies are delicately balanced and I won't risk mine to a first generation pill that will cause such a disruption.

I've already had natural disruption--I have celiac disease (immune system can't handle the gluten in wheat, etc.) but wasn't diagnosed until I was nearly 19 and it took its toll on me in depression and a wacky cycle. Months on end went by without a period through my teens. For the most part it felt great, and I barely noticed. It was only when a doctor asked for my last date that I really thought about it. (I think seven months was the biggest gap with one or two normal periods and another long gap.) My first pseudo-gyn appointment suggest that I could have cysts. But I've been gluten-free for over a year now and my body is getting itself back into gear. I've lost weight, gained energy, and my periods seem to have normalized again. I still have a long cycle (something like 40 days total) but it's been consistent for several months now. It's a huge weight off my mind to know that I'm doing something right for my body. The menstrual cycle is an indicate of how the body is functioning, and we shouldn't be too quick to dismiss it.

It's certainly not perfect. I get horrible cramps every few months, and mood swings are always fun. But I'd rather deal with that for now than take a chance on something we don't understand particularly well. My mother's generation (baby boom) pioneered birth control pills, but it took a while to get the dosages and balances correct. And we're still learning from them--as they enter menopause we're seeing how the use of various pills is affecting their health now.

I'm too young to mess around with stopping my periods on purpose. I'm only 20 and I want to have a family someday. I don't want to be a guinea pig and discover that starting up to have a baby isn't as easy as they thought it would be. I don't want such a child to have problems because my hormones were wacky. Yes, it would be the ideal... but no, I won't try it now. I'd like to see the long term effects first.

Course, if the tampon fairy could fly down and wave a wand a couple of times, that would be different... ;)

-****

20, college student, NJ/NY, U.S.A.

April 2006


"Menstruation is natural, maybe. So are body odor, mucus and dental plaque, but I don't see anybody lining up to sing the praises of snot."

YES!

I don't know how people manage to think that this is all beautiful and wonderful and lovely and ... urgh. It's nothing but a constant nuisance. When my period starts, my usual thought is, "Damnit. I hate being on the rag." And when it ends, my usual thought is, "Yay-wheeeeee! Free for another month!"

I'm 35 years old, I don't have kids, don't want kids, don't plan on kids and nobody is going to talk me into kids--so why should I have to put up with this stupid mess every month? There's the expense of "sanitary" products, the smell, the leaks, the stains, the inconvenience, the cramps, the back aches, the leg aches, the moods, the acne, ad infinitum. If there were an absolutely safe, simple, economical way to do away with this constant - and when you have to deal with it every single freaking month the keyword is 'constant' - annoyance, I'd do it.

My periods aren't particularly heavy, but there is that one day when I'm running to the restroom every twenty minutes. My cramps aren't particularly bad, but there are those days when I'd love to have a major dose of morphine and/or have my legs amputated at the waist. My acne isn't particularly bad; the quantity of blemishes, however, is more than made up for by the severity -- one great, big, hot, painful, monster-zit-from-hell-that-lasts-five-days somewhere on my body (usually face or shoulders) is worse to me than twenty little teeny, inconsequential pimples that go away in a couple of days.

Menstruation is natural, maybe. So are body odor, mucus and dental plaque, but I don't see anybody lining up to sing the praises of snot.

M.C. (a woman)

April 2006


"Too much estrogen plus not enough progesterone equals all sorts of bad things. Use progesterone cream to balance the estrogens, end of all kinds of evil."

Mr. Finley,

I came across your page quite by accident. I have an 11-year-old who by all symptoms will be starting [menstruating] in the next year or earlier. I was actually doing research on the best tampon for her to use when she's a bit older. I started to read some of the emails sent in from various women around the world answering the question "Would you stop menstruating . . . ." Frankly I was a bit flabbergasted.

I'm surprised that women have been putting up with symptoms of fibroids, PMS, migraines, mood swings, hot flashes, etc., for this long. I do not consider myself highly educated, but at least I do know that this is not the way that it's supposed to be. So I started some research. I found that Dr. Lee was right and progesterone cream counteracts the symptoms of estrogen dominance. Everyone I know who uses a good progesterone cream which does not have an estrogen base has had wonderful results. Personally I use Bellatude and will start my daughters on it as soon as needed.

Good grief, let me give you a good example: I live in the South, Mississippi to be exact, and we have mosquitoes, lots of them. We also have dogs. Mosquitoes plus dogs equals heartworms. So, what do you do? Buy heartworm prevention and give it to your dog once a month. It's common sense. Hormone imbalance is the exact same thing. Too much estrogen plus not enough progesterone equals all sorts of bad things. Use progesterone cream to balance the estrogens, end of all kinds of evil. But instead women complain and nag and suffer through it because they think that it will martyr them? Don't know why, but if they're smart, they will at least look into it and what can be the harm in trying it?

Just thought that you might want to know that (probably telling you unnecessarily, but I know that these women are suffering needlessly). If so many women come onto your site, maybe you need to address the issue more widely; and not only women, but I know several husbands who buy Bellatude for their wives and insist that they use it. I must say that they like the increased libido!

I'm impressed with what you have done. You are to be commended, sir.

Sincerely,

****

April 2006

Dr. Nelson Soucasaux writes to Mclean's magagine (Canada) about the article "The end of menstruation," which describes the proposed menstrual suppression pill Anya:

Dear Sirs,

As a practicing gynecologist for 31 years, author of two gynecology books and having the honour of being a collaborator of the wonderful Museum of Menstruation and Women's Health for nearly five years, I would like to present you my point of view regarding the menstrual suppression subject. It was originally published as an article just on the MUM's site in 2001, at page http://www.mum.org/soucas.htm, with the title "Uninterrupted use of hormonal contraceptives for menstrual suppression: why I do not recommend it," and basically has remained the same along all these years.

In the aforementioned article, after discussing the technical and medical details of the subject, I finish by saying that "... the present-day attempts of stimulating women to artificially suppressing menstruation for reasons of minor importance do not seem to reveal a healthy attitude regarding this typical aspect of women's nature. From the point of view of psychosomatic gynecology, I believe that this new and debatable idea that menstruation is 'useless' and 'superfluous' will certainly contribute to reinforcing the old-fashioned female negative attitudes regarding menstruation, and now hidden under the name of science. I think this is not good for women's psycho-physical health."

But there is something I forgot to mention in my article [which I just added]:

The artificial menstruations ("fake" menstruations) that purposefully occur during the seven days interval between each series of 21 days taking the hormonal oral contraceptives are the most practical way women usually have to know that the contraceptive is working - that is, that they did not get pregnant during the use of the "Pill" (though, of course, there are rare exceptions). Taking this into consideration, if these "fake" menstruations are abolished by the uninterrupted use of the contraceptives, a crucial question arises: what will provide women the usual and most practical control they have regarding the efficacy of the method? If there are no menstruations, which early "information" will women have indicating that the contraceptive may have failed?

Yours sincerely,

Nelson Soucasaux

April 2006


"I had an endometrial ablation 10 months ago and my iron and blood count are back to normal, and I no longer have to stay home 5-7 days every 21!"

I think I answered this a few years ago, when I found your site, attempting to find a help or better product! Yes, yes, yes.

I have bled extremely heavily for 30 years, and the huge mess, and major clots, days I spent sitting on the "throne" afraid to even get up, and each month it got closer and closer and heavier and heavier. I had very low iron, and was very anemic, and the constant exhaustion. I had been told 10 years ago to either have a hysterectomy or deal with it. I didn't want the hormones, or the hyst, so I finally decided I couldn't live my life like this any more. I had an endometrial ablation 10 months ago and my iron and blood count are back to normal, and I no longer have to stay home 5-7 days every 21!

I still cycle, and am done having kids, I just now have no more periods, though the EA is meant for heavy bleeding, and not to cure pain, and it makes your periods manageable. The end results are to be NORMAL flowing. I lucked out and am period free! Which, if you suffer extremely heavy periods, is awesome!

Finally, a solution to make me NORMAL!

I don't mind having a monthly cycle, and if I had a NORMAL period, that would be fine.

I am proud to be a woman, and never minded it at all until it got unbearably heavy, and unless you have lived through changing a pad every 20 minutes, blood flowing down your legs, you really can't imagine!

****

April 2006


"The only thing I would change about menstruation is the early onset of menarche. I believe that you should reach menarche around the age of 14, not 11."

I would just like to update my thoughts on "Would you stop menstruating?" due to my conversion to a menstrual cup.

I would NEVER stop menstruating. There is no point for me to. I don't have pain, I don't have hassle, I don't have worry, I'm even liking it better (sometimes) when I have my periods (I know, how strange is that). This is because I now use the DivaCup, a menstrual cup [read about menstrual cups]. Used to use disposable pads, and the menstrual cup has so many benefits over them. It seems better when I have my period to when I don't because the cup catches a large percent my vaginal (fluids? - I have doubts with my use or words...) so I don't dry on my underpants. I know, pretty silly, but that is annoying isn't girls? The only problem I sometimes have with the DivaCup is I forget it's there and have left it in a teeny bit longer then recommended. I'll probably try and stop this tho by wearing a certain bracelet or painting my nails or something, to remind myself. An alarm on my mobile has helped tho.

My periods used to affect the kinds of things I did: I couldn't go swimming (I never used tampons), I had to restrain myself from joining in water fights, and having to steer away in fear of getting wet "down-there" and causing some mess. So generally, most water activities. I also felt afraid going camping and even going to friends houses. At school I found it embarrassing when friends asked why I took my whole bag to the toilets. And when school finished I had to quickly run to the toilets, do my thing, and run to the bus-stop to make sure I didn't miss my bus. Sometimes the toilets were even locked right after last period (hah!) so I couldn't, and just had to hope that I wouldn't leak. I found it awkward just doing really physical things. I felt awkward going to bed sometimes. I even was scared of becoming an actor (childhood dream) because of those swimming situations in movies. What if I had a water-related scene and I had my period? I didn't want to be forced to wear tampons or have to talk about it with other people?

Now, however, all those more personal concerns (and others) have vanished.

The only thing I would change about menstruation is the early onset of menarche. I believe that you should reach menarche around the age of 14, not 11.

I also believe that all the pain some women go through when experiencing menstruation is due to health and lifestyle, rather then the menstrual cycle itself. (It would be really interesting to gather information of women who have these problems and see if there are patterns.) So the drug thing seems ridiculous to me.

Also, if you would like to talk to users of menstrual cups then you should go to: http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups

It really helped me (16 year-old virgin, non-tampon-user) with my DivaCup, and even the choice of what brand I'd get plus much more.

Conclusion: Nearly every woman (they don't always work out for everyone) should own a menstrual cup. Everyone should eat healthy (in my opinion from the ways in 'Fit For Life'), Exercise, and start living more naturally.

Thanx again for your site Harry, can't thank you enough really!

****

March 2006

No! "I'm not saying that I'm above ibuprofen, only that I try to be fully conscious of what the sources of my pain may be and to address them non-medically before I simply try to 'kill' it."

Absolutely not. No. No. No. No. No. But that's just me. My experience with menses, while far from painless, has been an integral part of my growing experience as a person, an invaluable avenue toward understanding my own body. I rely heavily upon my monthly cycle as a cleansing, purifying, and regenerating time.

I'm 30 years old now and feel fortunate to have lived in a time where respect and understanding of things feminine as increased so far, while understanding and respect for gender differences is far from perfect or universal. My attitude is far different from my mother's or my grandmother's. (My male partner's attitude ­ far different from his father's or grandfather's.) As it should be. I entirely respect the choice of other women to stop their menstruation ­ I hope that they do so with an abundance of self-awareness and full knowledge of their bodies, their psyches, and the research, science and technology involved. Some of the stories I've read sound excruciating and nothing that I'd would wish on anyone. We all deserve relief from excessive pain and suffering.

In my own experience: I use the cooperative method of birth control (a.k.a. the rhythm method) so I am dedicated to a full and detailed comprehension of my cycle in all its stages. I've charted my cycles from menarche at 13 years of age. I believe that this habit helps to keep me regular. In addition, my practice of conscious/ holistic healing practices orients me in a very specific way to my pain and discomfort. Rather than focus strictly on my body, I am interested in examining my life, my history, and the people and culture around me. I'm not saying that I'm above ibuprofen, only that I try to be fully conscious of what the sources of my pain may be and to address them non-medically before I simply try to "kill" it.

I am interested in participating in cultural change, I believe that science and technology should play a role in our development as human beings. However, we still live for the most part at the intersection of capitalism, patriarchy, and science. I am most interested in continuing to develop firmer ground at the intersection of feminism and science. Thank you so much for the contribution of your museum to that common cause. Good luck and best wishes to all the women out there taking charge of their bodies.

[The writer also contributed to the Remedies page, the entry starting with "Number one cause of cramps . . . ."]

March 2006


"I warn against celebrating what I might call the 'demise of menstruation.'"

First of all I would like to say how useful and entertaining I have found your site. As a student reading Womens Studies in London I often find myself referring to you for sources!

I have read many of the other comments posted here; it's a fantastic debate I have to say. Would I stop my periods if I could? To be honest I'm not sure. Up until the age of 18 I would have said yes without any uncertainty, having vowed when my periods started at 11 that I would have a hysterectomy as soon as I was old enough. I hated the pads which felt like nappies, I hated the smell, the cramps, the hormonal mood swings, the tender breasts, the pain of inserting my first tampon - should I go on?! Most of all I grew to hate the taboo about not talking to boys about periods (except to raise the issue of cramps, a "cleaner" less "intimate" part of menstruation) All of these factors left me focusing my anger towards what I saw as the obvious culprit: my womb.

So when, aged 17, my periods stopped I was relieved. It was due (or so I thought) to the injections of Depo-Provera prescribed to me by my doctor after a pregnancy scare. It wasn't. At 18, half-way through my A Levels, I had a very late termination of the pregnancy that the doctor had misdiagnosed earlier as negative (she never explained about false negatives, or offered a second test, I might add.) After the termination I bled solidly for a month with spotting throughout the month after that. The bleeding was an intense experience on its own and I am always thankful when my period ends each time after only five days.

Would I stop my periods now? Not at all. My experience has changed my outlook on my body entirely. I admit, whenever I get my period now I do feel a wave of relief, but that is not to say that having a termination has scared me off pregnancy in the future - just not until I have had my education and stopped being a child myself! Having my period also reminds me of what my womb is designed for - life. I find it very empowering to be reminded of this on a monthly basis.

I feel for the women who have posted here about their torturous menstruations and I wholeheartedly support you in your decisions. Nobody should have to suffer unnecessary extremities of pain and discomfort when there are medical techniques available to prevent it. But I warn against celebrating what I might call the "demise of menstruation." Although there are drawbacks for most (again I mention cramps, smells, aching breasts, mood swings) and pain beyond belief for others, there is something very comforting about having a period for me. The way it reminds me of how my life has been and will continue to be shaped by my womb puts me in awe of the little thing and all the power it holds.

March 2006


"I don't judge anyone who wishes to stop their menstruation, but I think that modern Western existence is fundamentally anti-feminine, and that we are being reshaped into suffering worker drones for capitalism."

Kia Ora Harry, ["Hi" in Maori]

Firstly I think your site is marvelous. Thank you for such candor and honest edu-tainment!

I tried to add my thoughts to your "Would you stop menstruation if you could?" section via your Web site but it refused to work with this computer.

Here is what I think. Please add it to your panel.

Or perhaps dismiss it as crazy hippy conspiracy femmespeak - this is what I was inspired to write nonetheless..

I have had my period since I was fourteen. It came late, but I was glad.

While growing up I never felt like a girl, and was an utter tomboy. I felt in fact deeply that I would never become a woman, and dreaded such an occurrence. I sometimes wonder if this is why I developed so late. Girls in the changing rooms at school would laugh at my flat chest and rather than wishing I was like them I would secretly think "Well, I'm glad I don't have those ugly lumpy things on my chest- ugh!"

I grew up on a dairy farm and the sight of women's breasts I related in some weird way to the grossly enlarged udders of dairy cows, forced to expel milk twice most days of the year.

For a long time I guess you could say I struggled with my femininity. For a long time I really thought of myself as "feminist." I liked that women could act like a man, work like a man, drink and do drugs, have sex like a man, work sixty hour weeks, and what of it - screw you - we're the same - we're Equal! I beat my body hard with martial arts and exercise.

During this period -(Ha!) - I suffered extremely bad cramps during my menstruation, to the extent of being bedridden and in agony. I remember screaming and moaning incapably and dreading my periods. Every four months cramps would come along that made me want to die, they were that awful.

Doctors prescribed heavy-duty liver toxic painkillers, contraceptive pills, hormonal adjustment, or even surgery. I was resistant to all these treatments, distrusting this kind of suppressive "medicine."

I tried acupuncture, yoga, herb teas, Tibetan medicine. Stupidly, I tried all this while not changing the way I ate or lived.

After panicking one day in an exceptionally bad period I was ambulanced to the hospital and was left, untreated and in agony, on a bed in the corridor, (they refused to treat me because they thought I was mentally unstable, or on drugs, that's how crazy I was from the pain - staff wouldn't even refill my hot water bottle for the pain) I went into some kind of pain-induced zone of a Zen-like calm, and thought: I've got to do something about this. The medical establishment will not help me. I have to do this by myself. Who am I?

It is obvious to me now my hard, dare I say "male" (though I have no idea what it is like to be male) lifestyle of hard work, late nights, drinking, smoking, eating badly and sporadically, six cups of coffee a day, drugs, etc., were responsible for my state. I had been suppressing my femininity and trying to live some kind of exceptionally driven existence.

I had been duping myself.

Now, several years later I have barely a twinge during my periods, which are light and last for about four days.

This is how I got there.

1. I eat very minimal animal products.

2. I don't drink caffeine.

3. I eat minimal processed foods.

4. I don't drink or do drugs to excess (occasionally I will have half a glass of stout and the occasional joint or brownie).

5. I relax with yoga and capoeira.

6. I walk and cycle moderately for fitness.

7. I drink a lot of water before any other beverage.

8. I work lightly, as a job cooking what is considered "slow food."

And that's it. These things worked for me.

I basically slowed down, and got in touch with my body and stopped being so demanding. I laugh and smile a lot more, for the joy of being.

And there is a bit of an ideology behind this, which I will try to explain.

Basically I think as women we have to engage with our connection to the planet and stop harmful, hurtful (I could almost say demonic) activities.

I don't judge anyone who wishes to stop their menstruation, but I think that modern western existence is fundamentally anti-feminine, and that we are being reshaped into suffering worker drones for capitalism.

Does that sound radical? Scary? Plain ridiculous?

I think the African original woman has a lot to teach us, to stop the pain and the frustration. Of feeling like a ROUND peg in a SQUARE hole.

Women are intuitive, nurturing beings. Our bleeding is a tool for empathy. If we charge our love for ourselves, for all beings and for the planet our natural strength and fulfillment will emerge. Women are strong, sweet mothers of wisdom. Witches of herbs, minerals and stews.

We don't need to compete with men, they have their foci and we have ours.

We are best placed in careers that emphasize our feminine aspects of nurturing, natural wisdom, healing and other kinds of generous giving. I am not trying to demean women in writing this, rather that femininity has been and is continually being demeaned in this society.

I know many women who get very upset at this. I'm not suggesting that we are not intellectual or that we are only mothers and homemakers, rather that we need to give our femininity importance, and breathing space instead of suppressing it for work, or play.

I give thanks to all women who have fought long and hard for our rights - to those bright shining sisters.

But what have we lost in the fight for so-called "equality." Do you feel equal? Really?

It's okay to feel tired - relax, have a bath, a walk, a cup of tea.

It's okay to feel bitchy - let it out in a good chat, a letter, a workout.

It's okay to ask your man (or maybe woman) to be gentle and take time - we need to feel appreciated, loved or respected, to want to make love in the highest sense.

It's okay to not want to have children - it is a marvelous, scary event, but our bodies are undeniable geared to produce offspring.

It's okay to say hey, I'm a woman, I want time with my mother, sister, women, in our feminine pursuits.

It's okay to wear a dress, a beautiful flowing sacred garment, releasing our belly organs from constriction. It's okay to be sexy - to feel our powerful kundalini.

I guess what I am trying to say is that our conception of femininity is a very warped thing in this fast track existence, and that by trying to be men, to compete in their pursuits is a dangerous thing for our cycles, our well-being, our woman-ness.

I wish every woman could observe nature on a daily basis, sit in her garden and tend vegetables, have time to make a simple meal, be able to sit, chat, sew and comfort.

I'm not ashamed of being a woman. I don't desire to climb and claw and cut throat in a race to the top. I'm glad to be educated and respected but I don't need to fight for that - my perception of myself is more important than reality.

It's easy for me to say this, living in a society where woman are not subjugated to terrifying things like circumcision or sanctioned rape. These things are perhaps female suppression of the most extreme.

But what other subtle disharmonies are we subjected to? Perhaps unrealistic and perverted expectations? Perhaps a white Western male order?

(Please, no disrespect intended to any real men, the description of which is for real men to consider)

I made myself very ill trying to fit an unfeminine mold, and I feel very much for the women I know, trying to compete, distancing themselves from their empathy, their connection to the earth, to the ancestresses in pursuit of male fame, glory or success.

What is female success? How about we try and uplift our sisters in pursuit of that? How about we give that cycle, circle, the respect and love it deserves.

In love, sisterhood and humility -
and with my arms open in embrace -

****

March 2006


NO! "I don't like it when science usurps nature."

NO! I say vehemently as a 49-year-old who has suffered from cramps, mood swings, etc. for most of my life. In my late twenties I didn't menstruate for two years due to lots of physical activity (sexual and otherwise) and birth control pills. It made me feel out of touch with myself and then there was the fear of an unwanted pregnancy. So, in spite of the pain and suffering, I like having my period because it's unique to the female, connects me with the rest of nature, and is a damn fascinating process. I don't like it when science usurps nature.  

P.S. Love your web site. It's a valuable historical and teaching tool. 

March 2006



No. "I wanted to save my uterus, and with a uterine artery emobolization I was able to. Even as I went through that hell, I wanted to go for healthy, not for being cut open and losing a part of me. Within days of that surgery, my periods were normal again and I've been symptom-free for years."

It would seem that the question would be better rephrased -- "If you had a normal healthy periods would you want to stop them?"

Of course anyone would want to avoid cramps, flooding, anemia, severe mood swings, and pain. But all of that can almost always be helped without removing yourself from a normal healthy function! I had periods so severe I could hardly move, and I was so anemic I had to have transfusions. All due to severe fibroids (one became basketball sized). I wanted to save my uterus, and with a uterine artery emobolization I was able to. Even as I went through that hell, I wanted to go for healthy, not for being cut open and losing a part of me. Within days of that surgery, my periods were normal again and I've been symptom free for years.

I started at age 10, and things are winding down in perimenopause at age 47. I've almost never had cramps or mood issues, and I love the monthly changes every day of the month. Who would I be without cycles? It is a sad but also interesting thing to have this change after almost three decades. No woman should have to suffer cramps and heavy bleeding and hard periods. That isn't normal. Help is available, especially with knowledgeable herbalists and natural practitioners.

****

March 2006


No. "I can't believe that people would rather pop a pill than accept nature. It actually sickens me."

My answer is no.

A few years ago, I would have said yes. But then I grew a brain and some confidence in my womanhood.

Why on earth would I want to pour money into a corporation to pollute my body with hormones it wasn't intended to have in it? Am I so out of touch with my body that I can't put up with a perfectly natural process? I mean, taking a crap is gross and inconvenient, but I wouldn't suppress it.

I used to have painful periods. Then I stopped fighting my body and accepted that my periods were a part of life. Amazingly enough, the cramps stopped. In other cultures, PMS [premenstrual syndrome] doesn't exist. In those same cultures, there isn't such a sense of shame surrounding menstruation.

We know that tampons are harmful, HRT [hormone replacement therapy] has been proven harmful to our health. So we want to unnaturally alter our cycles and poison our bodies with a product from these same people?

I can't believe that people would rather pop a pill than accept nature. It actually sickens me.

Just my $0.02.

March 2006


No. "My world entirely turns around to happier days when I am on Zoloft. You can see that I have learned to fight and pursue answers to maintain my menstrual period."

I would maintain the menstrual cycle because that is the way a woman's system works best.  Sometimes, my Zoloft doesn't work on my mood of depression very well, but finally doctors have given recognition and treatment to the down side and moodiness of the menses.

I feel better emotionally that physicians are permitted to psychiatrically treat a woman during those times. Sadly, I had to take Zoloft every day when I experienced post-partum depression that gradually became worse until I was hospitalized. I had unbearable headaches/migraine and eventually couldn't get out of bed. My world entirely turns around to happier days when I am on Zoloft. You can see that I have learned to fight and pursue answers to maintain my menstrual period. I hope you all have as much success as I have experienced.

Sincerely

****

March 2006


"Please, please, someone give me a pill or something that will make this senseless torture cease."

That would be a resounding YES.

I am 37 years old and have had my tubes tied for eight years. There is no point in my having to suffer like this for a week out of every single month of every single year. I am sick of it. It ruins my clothes, it hurts, it makes me irritable, interferes with my sex life, and did I say it hurts? As you can tell, I am on my period now. It has ruined my evening. Please, please, someone give me a pill or something that will make this senseless torture cease.

Honestly yours,

****

March 2006


"My OBGYN [obstetrician-gynecologist] has scheduled me for an operative hysteroscopy endometrial ablation due the heavy periods I have been getting over the past year."

I am a 42-year-old Canadian mother of one beautiful 6-year-old boy. I have had my period since I was 10 and I have had enough.

My OBGYN [obstetrician-gynecologist] has scheduled me for an operative hysteroscopy endometrial ablation due the heavy periods I have been getting over the past year. The procedure is in two days. If I am "lucky" I will not have bleeding at around three months after the procedure. I was feeling stupid for getting an operation because I am inconvenienced from the week and a half of bleeding each month. (Puts a damper on the sex life).  I don't want to take any more medications and The Pill at the strength I need is a risk in it self. I didn't have to take any pre-op hormones either. I don't like going under general anesthetic and that scares me a bit. It is nice to hear that other women hate it as much as I always have.

February 2006


"These women who are telling us that we must be ashamed of our bodies and we should get in touch with what our period is trying to tell us should spend a solid hour sitting on the toilet while a quart of bloody clots pour out of their bodies."

I'm so impressed with the work and dedication you've put into this site . . . it's informative, funny, heartbreaking, and ultimately, empowering.

That said, would I stop my period if I could? 

Already have.

I'm 40 years old, single and childless (thank God!). I started my period when I was eleven and from that fateful day, it was nothing but one traumatic experience after another. I never had bad cramps, to speak of, aside from the occasional back ache, but the bleeding was horrible! My period would last up to two months sometimes, with no lessening of flow. When I became anemic, my doctor put me on a heavy dose of iron, which ended up doing nothing but giving me diarrhea on top of all the blood. At times, it was so bad, I couldn't go to work, couldn't stand up without gushing all over my clothes, couldn't do anything but spend an hour in the bathroom continually mopping up. It was nothing but a 30-year nightmare.

Last year, it started to get so bad, I was fainting and having cold sweats. I was passing solid clots the size of my fist and finally, after a period that lasted 137 days, I had a emergency D & C.  That helped for a month. The next month was even worse, so I had an emergency hysterectomy, which revealed endometriosis, severe hyperplasia, and precancerous cells in my uterus. I wanted to cry for joy the day my gynecologist told me I needed surgery. I am now four months post-surgery and couldn't be more thrilled. I'm 40 years and I can *finally* start living my life.

These women who are telling us that we must be ashamed of our bodies and we should get in touch with what our period is trying to tell us should spend a solid hour sitting on the toilet while a quart of bloody clots pour out of their bodies. They might just eat their words.

A very happy female in Indiana (U.S.A.)

February 2006


"Please, please, someone give me a pill"

That would be a resounding YES.

I am 37 years old and have had my tubes tied for eight years. There is no point in my having to suffer like this for a week out of every single month of every single year. I am sick of it. It ruins my clothes, it hurts, it makes me irritable, interferes with my sex life, and did I say it hurts? As you can tell, I am on my period now. It has ruined my evening. Please, please, someone give me a pill or something that will make this senseless torture cease.

Honestly yours,

****

February 2006


French woman: "very painful periods stop when you begin having a sex life!" and
about PMS: "in France, at least, and to my knowledge in other European countries too, it doesn't exist," and
"I would say that rather than developing devices to stop the period, we should make an effort to increase the knowledge, the well-being and the self-esteem of women - it would be more useful."

I found your website by pure chance yesterday and since then I've been going through it over and over.

Some parts are funny, some are rather revolting and - well, most of it is of great interest! Thank you for the amount of work you have done to create such an interesting website!

I am French, I am 28, menstruated very regularly since the age of 12, no children and used to have very severe pains when I was a teenager.

I am most surprised because none of your contributors has mentioned a fact that struck us (I mean, me and other friends) which is: very painful periods stop when you begin having a sex life!

It may sound crazy but at the beginning of my periods, I was in such a pain that I could not sleep during a week each month. The painkillers did little to help. The only "solution" I had found was to"go rollerblading and don't ever stop," just as if the speed could leave the pain behind (didn't work very well I must admit).

So it went on in great suffering, until I had my first boy friend, and it has not been that awful since. I was so amazed at the change that I talked about it with several friends (girls) and they all told me that they had experienced this change themselves.

I don't know what is the explanation of it (is it a relaxing effect, change in muscular postures? Or maybe psychological changes about the way we think about our body?)

It must admit that I am always surprised by the way North American people speak about PMS and PMSing, because . . . well, in France at least and to my knowledge in other European countries too, it doesn't exist.

I am not saying that women don't go through cramps or pain during periods, it's just that we do not report such broad changes of the psyche/the personality.

I have been wondering whether this discrepancy is linked with the different way we deal with sexuality, the body and the shame. Here again, I don't have the correct answer.

[Later she added:]

In fact I'm rather ambivalent about stopping my periods. Some years ago I would have said, "Yes, yes, yes!!!" because it was such a pain and such a bother. (During my first period, I had calculated how long it would happen to me during my life and I was so sad, so angry against "what" might have played this horrible practical joke to me.)

Nowadays, I don't really care anymore. I always know when my periods are going to happen and I don't suffer anymore. Most of the time I just forget to take pain killers.

Yet, it would be interesting to be free and to stop loosing blood (for people who believe it's "natural," as you emphasized on your site, women from past centuries were almost always pregnant or breast feeding, so I am not so sure that our "nature" is designed to lose that much blood (and lots of women have to take iron tablets).

That was the "yes" part of me; the "no" part is that I have no trust in [artificial] hormones and their safety. I had been taking birth control pills for several years when I was in my early twenties and I had lots of problems with them (when I stopped taking the Pill, I lost around 40 pounds - without diet. Oh, oh.) Nowadays I have a IUD with copper and I am very happy with it.

I think (and most of the "No women" before me stressed similar points) that most of the dislike about periods is linked to a feeling of shame and of "being a second class individual," if you see what I mean.

And I must admit that my ways of thinking about periods has evolved in parallel with my self-esteem (which is not very good even nowadays, but at least I don't hate being a woman anymore, or just on the really bad bad days, which most of the time have nothing to do with my periods).

To conclude, I would say that rather than developing devices to stop the period, we should make an effort to increase the knowledge, the well-being and the self-esteem of women - it would be more useful (even though I am aware that some women have very abnormal periods and should be relieved).

February 2006



No. "Lots of women are told by their doctors that birth control pills will make mood swings decrease. After having worked in pharmacies all my life, I have heard enough stories from other women to know that this simply is not true for all women."

There are certainly times in my life when I have felt that menstruation was a cruel "curse" but over the years my thoughts have mellowed and I have come to embrace my monthly visitor. What does it mean to flow ? It means that I am full of life. It means a release of physical and emotional tensions. It means a time to be aware and to reflect on my femininity. It may mean I need to rest after the flurry of activity that usually comes before it. It is a brief break to do a self-check. Am I taking my vitamins, eating properly, doing enough exercise and good things for myself ?

I used Alesse continuously for four months one time so that I wouldn't menstruate while away on vacation. I had to stop before we went because I felt like I had so much rage pent up inside of me. Lots of women are told by their doctors that birth control pills will make mood swings decrease. After having worked in pharmacies all my life, I have heard enough stories from other women to know that this simply is not true for all women. I think that our bodies have adapted this way for a reason and that continual use of BCPs, without a break to bleed, is harmful indeed.

So, would I stop bleeding if I could ? No, no, no. My body will do that for me when it is ready to. In the meantime, I will enjoy each month. And for those odd times when I am having problems, I will visit with my naturopathic doctor for ways to help me deal with it naturally.

         Earth Mother ****

February 2006


Yes! "Sure, at one point in time in may have been a beautiful thing that signaled womanhood, but now its more of a pain in the ass."

Would I stop this painful monthly dread if I could? Of course I would. I think all women should consider doing so if they could as well.

At 18, I have determined that once I get enough money and bravery, I will find a doctor who will burn off my uterine lining. I forgot the name of the procedure, but that's what I am going to have done. I have no desire or ability to be a mother. I know that if I had children, they would end up in foster care, so I won't even try. I'm just not the nurturing type. So if anyone happens to know the name of the procedure I'm talking about and a doctor who won't give me the "you're too young you'll change your mind later" speech, please e-mail me [endometrial ablation - for a description, see a doctor's site here].

I know a lot of women who tell me to "love your body" and "it's a natural process" and a "beautiful thing." I really want to know what those women are on to be saying that bleeding x amount of days a month every is natural, beautiful and something to love. There are so many things wrong with those statements.

First off, I would like to say that what is "natural" changes over time. At one point in time about 100 years ago, it was natural for a girl to start her period at the age of 16 or 17. It was the norm of the time. Now if a girl hasn't started by 16, there is some kind of problem, but it's entirely "natural" for a 10 or 11 year old to start menstruating. That is just the way society is. What was "natural" then is no longer "natural" now in a modernized society. Natural is only "natural" for so long. Before another woman starts saying that women having been going through the kinds of periods we see as "natural," think about what was natural to those women back then. Having eight or nine kids was natural at one point. Having your first child before hitting twenty was natural and expected. Having a period every month was probably not natural to those women. How would what was natural then compare to what we see as "natural" now?

This "natural" process also varies worldwide. Menstruation is mainly a problem of modern working women of highly industrialized countries who don't have as many kids, live very long lives and work alongside men in an "almost" equal society. Look at some Indian and African tribes who live simpler lives in grass huts and pick their own food. Menstruation-related problems don't seem to come up nearly as often in their societies. After all, many female problems didn't come into play as actual problems until after women began to be treated more equally. Men don't get time off from work for "male" problems, so women don't get time off for "female" problems.

Secondly, I want to address the aspect of love and beauty towards menstruation.

I'm not trying to offend anyone, but why the hell should I love such a disgusting bodily function!? What is so beautiful about it!? Some women may not experience many problems on their periods, but I certainly do. For an entire week, I feel sick, weak, tired, angry, sad, nauseous, and sometimes insane. There have been times when I literally wanted to stab myself because I hated what my body was doing to me. For the first few days I'm on, I can't eat or drink anything outside of water, coke and salted crackers. Everything else just comes back up, even medicine. I cramp the week of and the week before it badly. And my period has an extremely abnormal flow. I don't have light or heavy days like most women; I have light, medium and heavy hours. In one day, my period can go from heavy to super heavy to nothing to medium to nothing again. And then back to light. There have been nights where I thought it would run heavy but nothing was on the pad the next morning. There have also been times when I woke up to a puddle of blood when my period started that night running "light" before I went to bed.

Someone tell me where is the beauty in that. Is it beautiful that I'm sick to my stomach and vomit at the thought of food once a month because of this? Is it beautiful that I stain clothes, sheets and even mattresses with blood? I do realize that being a woman capable of bringing life into the world is a beautiful thing, and certainly worthy of love and admiration. But putting up with this bloody curse every month is not beautiful in the least bit. Then again, it's not meant to be pretty because its a sign that you have not done what nature wanted, the "natural" thing, which would be to get pregnant.

I also want to say something about the stupidest comparison I have ever seen. Many pro-menses I've talked to (pro-menses being people who think women should not stop their periods by choice) often say telling a woman to take a pill to stop menstruation is as stupid as telling a man to take a pill to stop ejaculation. There is no way these two could ever be compared like that. I have yet to hear of a man who ejaculated for days straight against his own free will. I have yet to hear a man complain about pain or sickness associated with ejaculation. Most importantly, I have yet to hear a man who does not enjoy ejaculation. Men usually find ejaculation to be an enjoyable experience that goes along with sex. I don't know too many women who find their periods to be enjoyable in a sexual manner (except some girls I know who get really horny during their periods, but that's another story) or in any manner except the "Yay, I'm not preggie!" manner.

I could rant on and on about this topic, but I don't want to take up the entire Web page. So, I just want to say that while I think it's cool that some women think their periods are wonderful and should be treated in the highest regard, just because something is "natural" does not mean it has to be treated as beautiful and loved. We naturally grow body hair, and most women find it nasty and shave it off. We naturally get wrinkles and gray hairs, but women hide that with hair coloring and makeup. Many women naturally have small breasts and a not quite an hourglass figure, but women get plastic surgery for that.

So why can't the same be done for menstruation? Sure, at one point in time in may have been a beautiful thing that signaled womanhood, but now its more of a pain in the ass. Maybe a permanent solution is too far for some women who want or may want to have kids, but what about those who won't or can't kids anyway? What about women who are done having kids? Why can't a temporary treatment be made for women not ready to have kids yet and for young barely preteen girls who shouldn't have been thrown into womanhood so early? 

There is just no need for menstruation in a modern society like ours. Its just a constant roadblock to many women, and not the inspirational gift some people make it out to be.

February 2006


No.

Hey, I got one of my friends to answer the menstruating question. She somehow couldn't send it to you, so I told her I would. Here is her answer:

"I must admit menstruating is quite annoying, the cramps and being caught without protection. But I wouldn't stop menstruating because it wouldn't be natural. And natural is GOOD!

- 16 years old."

February 2006


"A human body is not meant to have its hormones altered artificially just for the sake of convenience."

I absolutely would NOT take these pills (Seasonale, etc) that impede menstruation.

I am a 29-year old mother of two. I began my first cycle just a few short weeks after my ninth birthday. From then until well into my teens, I bled for an average of 10 to 12 days a month, heavily. At 16 I went on "The Pill." Actually, I went on a variety of different Pills, but found that they all just messed with my body too much - headaches, mood swings, weight gain, etc. And because of my own ignorance about my body, I continued to suffer the horrible effects of these pills until I was 24! Luckily, I wised up and started learning about my body and my hormones.

Instead of tossing packages of pills at young women, we should be teaching them about their bodies and their menstrual cycles, and how to monitor their fertility without artificial means. Forget the 21-pack or 28-pack and give them a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" instead!

A human body is not meant to have its hormones altered artificially just for the sake of convenience. I can understand the need to correct a hormone imbalance, but we are a generation CREATING a hormone imbalance within ourselves - I fear what this will mean to our children.  Will it be another "DES"? [Diethylstilbestrol, "a synthetic estrogen hormone that was given to pregnant women in the 1950's to try to prevent miscarriages. It was not effective and its use discontinued. The female infants of these women, who took the DES, had some developmental abnormalities of their vaginas and cervices that put them at risk for developing a particular type of adenocarcinoma called a clear cell carcinoma." From http://www.gyncancer.com/vagina.html] Something supposedly safe, that so many women took, that ends up affecting generations to come?

No - I'll stick with a wonderful and natural way of suppressing ovulation (and hence, the bleeding too) - my youngest child is now 17 months old, still nursing around the clock, and I haven't seen a menstrual cycle since her birth!

February 2006


"I feel fully female when its not 'that time of the month' so why should I feel more so during it?"

Yes. Mine have never been regular with a cycle between 18 and 30 days usually but sometimes skipping or two in a month, etc. Thankfully they're not heavy but have caused me more trouble than they're worth. I feel fully female when its not "that time of the month" so why should I feel more so during it? Having another child may kill me so its not of any use. To any females who love it or embrace it that's great but I can't wait to stop them.

Thank you, Sue, (Queensland, Australia)

February 2006


Yes! "The only thing that turns me off is that most drugs that women take that concern their reproductive system end up causing severe side effects sometimes."

HECK YES!!

I am definitely not one of these women who feel that having a period is some sort of miracle or life affirming occurrence. I have never enjoyed them but at one point in my life understood the need for them (when I was trying to have a family). But now that I have had my children, am almost 40 and have no desire for more children the periods are nothing but obsolete.

The only thing that turns me off is that most drugs that women take that concern their reproductive system end up causing severe side effects sometimes.

February 2006


"If I could I'd invent a time machine, go back to the Garden Of Eden, and stomp that blasted snake to death before he could ever talk to Eve".

I would happily stop menstruating if I could. I would also be glad if I could just have my uterus removed. I can't imagine anything worse then someone with as many mental hangups as me having a child.

A period is a messy, smelly, painful thing. It doesn't make me feel special, it makes me feel filthy and disgusting. Not to mention the pain. And I don't mean just cramps, but migraines as well. If I could I'd invent a time machine, go back to the Garden Of Eden, and stomp that blasted snake to death before he could ever talk to Eve.

I hate my monthly cycle. I would prefer to turn into a man every 28 days instead!

February 2006


"I know that this cycle connects me to a deeper wisdom that drives and pulls us along in our lives."

Definitely not.

I started at 16, had irregular periods, usually heavier and longer than normal for the first five years. I have not had an easy history of menstruation, but it has always reacted to my current life situation as if I was in dialogue with it and has pushed me to dig deeper, and become a more whole woman. That, and the support and guidance of girl friends and women around me.

For example, when I was in my late teens and others around me had already had sex for the first time I thought I'd just "get it over with" - I wasn't being too rash, just in a little bit of a hurry.  Every single time there would be an opportunity for me to have sex - camping out, a party at a friend's house - and I had this intention in mind I would get my period - every time. My body was telling me I wasn't ready (which I wasn't) and eventually after this happened repeatedly I caught on. It was eerie. But waiting was priceless and I have my own body to thank.

Later in life I found myself in situations where I would give too much of myself to others (what woman doesn't?) These emotional imbalances always manifested in my cycles and because of that have led me to reexamine my situation and make the changes and grow in the places that I needed too.

Though sometimes I do have disabling pain and the loss of massive amounts of blood is difficult to bare, I know that this cycle connects me to a deeper wisdom that drives and pulls us along in our lives. I need only to be open to its meanings and I can benefit and grow from this innate wisdom which is encoded in our own bodies. To begin to read it is to translate it into my own logical language. Some reach out to a god in the heavens far away, I need only look inside my body and I will find it there if I take the time to look. Every physical manifestation has its root in our life style, history and emotional/mental state. My period is a reminder of this. By suppressing and choosing not to listen to my body I would lose valuable intuitions and perhaps not be the person I am today.  Humans are creatures of habit and unfortunately we vastly underestimate the necessity of a constant reminder to reexamine and change our habits so that we may grow and evolve in more conscious, aware beings.

I'm from the Northeast, U.S.A., 26 years old.

I would also recommend "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" for further reading about emotional/physical connections.

February 2006


"My period does not control my womanliness or my creativity. That comes from my experiences in life, and my heart."

As I sit here clutching my gut at 1:00 in the morning, I would say goodbye to my period with a middle finger in the air. I have hated it since that day when I was 13. I am now 25 and still despise it as much as I did then. 

I thank God everyday for the birth control pill which has reduced my 10 days of Hell to four or five. The cramps that feel like a burning knife in my gut, large clots, bloating, back pain, headaches, diarrhea, enormous tampons (with "back-up" pads), snapping at my husband, irrational crying, and severe anemia (almost to the point of needing a blood transfusion) I will never miss. While they are still there, they are only a minimal nuisance now. When I was in high school I used to black out on the first day of my period and my mother would find me curled up and dazed on the bathroom floor. 

I got married when I was 20 and after three years of trying to get pregnant, fed up, I went on the Pill since my period didn't seem to be keeping up its end of the bargain anyway. "Have me and you will know the joy of a child." It wasn't so much to keep me from getting pregnant but to be back in control  of my body. And we were at the point where if we decided it was that important to have a biological child, we would need to take those drastic and expensive steps that I was just too worried would put my marriage in jeopardy. My ob/gyn knows about it, but agrees that it is up to us if we ever want to pursue extra steps. And I believe for me, adoption would be the most fulfilling thing I could do. Now these days are just about us, and I like that. Of course there is always a little pain in my heart when I see a woman pregnant or a family with lots of children. And, yes, at times it can even be almost unbearable, (usually around you know when, so put that on my list of reasons), but I believe part of being an adult and being mature is understanding that sometimes you just don't get what you want, and you have to suck it up and get on with life.    

I do think of my period as something apart from me, with its own will and personality. And we do not usually agree with each other. I'm sure plenty of people will say that's an unhealthy view of my body, but I do see it as a relationship on the rocks and I hope we can work through it and one day be happy together and live in harmony. But until them I am content with my decision, and I would be on Seasonale [which allows for only four periods a year] in a flash if and when my insurance covers it. 

My period does not control my womanliness or my creativity. That comes from my experiences in life, and my heart. I am an artist and that is something almost uncontrollable from deep inside my subconscious that flows out of me. That is what completes me. My love for life, and the deep unwavering love for my husband, and my friends that I would bend over backward to help, my purring kitty, and my 175 lb sweet-as-pie dog, not my period, is what really matters. 

Northern Indiana, U.S.A.,

February 2006 


No! "When my husband has an important meeting, I paint his chest with my blood. It's like war paintings and I am giving him my 'goddess' powers."

Please forgive my English, as it is not my first language. I'm from Mexico, but I live in California now.

First of all, I want to thank you for the wonderful Web site you have. I discovered it several years ago, and it has helped me to understand my body and be in tune with the wonderful changes it experiences every month. So NO, I would NEVER suppress my menstruation unless I am pregnant or breast feeding.

I come from a family of women who view menstruation as something sinful and dirty. Thankfully I never listened to their wrong information. I pity the people who listen to their mothers' tales of how HORRID it is.    

I had my first cycle when I was 11 (on January 11th 1992), I remember liking how warm my uterus felt (and I still love the sensation). I did experience a little pain, but I learned to suck it up and continue with my life in EVERY WAY. My menstruation is NOT an illness. I feel more alive and more aware, in tune with the universe.

When I was first learning to wear pads, I used to use two pads or more at the same time, and I always had leaks. Was I losing too much blood? NO! I was simply *over-doing* the protection.  One GOOD pad works better than two. I used to take pills, now I enjoy the cramps, and I find them purifying (now, if a woman has awful pain, she has some sort of trouble and should seek help). I discovered that pills only disconnect you from the world. I like being alive with my five senses working, even if that includes menstrual pains.

About the smell. I LOVE IT! I don't know if other women's menstrual blood stinks. Mine doesn't. Mine smells sweet and earthy at the same time. I like it. 

When I am alone, I like being a free bleeder. I don't wear pads or tampons if I can help it. I don't mind the blood on my thighs or the bed sheet - everything is washable.    

I like putting menstrual blood on my face, as a facial mask. It makes my skin so soft! I like the sweet smell on my face. I have heard that prevents wrinkles.

When my husband has an important meeting, I paint his chest with my blood. It's like war paintings and I am giving him my "goddess" powers. And he is great! We both love making love, regardless of whether I'm menstruating or not. To the women whose men don't like to have sex during their cycle, I only have two words: Dump him. Who wants an ignorant brute that thinks his woman is disgusting just because she has a sign of being in perfect health? 

When I was younger, I used hormonal contraceptive for a couple of months. I stopped it because I didn't like what it did to my body. I would never go back to them. Thank goodness for the SPONGE, which has turned to be perfect for me.

****
January 2006


Yes. "I don't like taking pills, but I'd gladly start taking Anya if it meant I could do without my period."

Since I turned 40, it seems my hormones have gotten wackier, including the fun of migraines. I currently have an IUD, which means my cycle is not only heavier, but shorter, and also means sometimes I get to deal with the fun twice a month. Even with a menstrual cup, it's not a joy I look forward to.

My IUD expires sometime next year. I pray that Anya [a hormone pill designed to indefinitely stop menstruation - more here] has been approved and is for sale at that point. I made the conscious choice decades ago to remain child free, so I don't see the lack of a period as "14 missed opportunities each year." Furthermore, I don't tie my identity as a woman to my period.

It's messy, inconvenient, and stains my clothes and bed (no matter how careful I am). I'm already tired of the migraines and mood swings, even though it's been less than a year. Good riddance to it. I don't like taking pills, but I'd gladly start taking Anya if it meant I could do without my period.

January 2006


"Naw" - No

Naw. It makes me feel earthy & cleansed when it's over.

January 2006


Maybe. "I think the feeling of restriction is the main reason why I like not having my period more than I do."

I've got mixed feelings about the topic. For one, I wouldn't stop menstruating if it meant I had to take drugs to do it. It just seems so unnatural. I'm only 16 (born '89) and had my first period later then the other girls in my class (13 and 11 months), so I haven't had much experience with menstruation. But I still have had experience!

There was one girl who answered your question who said she thought she may never get her period. I was the same until I did get it. I've never been really irregular, but I have had the odd occasion and embarrassing moment. Sometimes I feel restricted to do things, mainly water-involving activities, because I don't want to use tampons (health risks) and I don't think anyone would appreciate me "polluting" the water they are swimming in. The cramps and other bodily annoyances also make me feel restricted, but not as much as the way society looks at menstruation. I think the feeling of restriction is the main reason why I like not having my period more than when I do. My bodily effects of menstruation are not too bad, and I believe that is because of my health and the way I look after myself (which I'm going to try to improve to see if there is a change).

Getting back to the main answer. Would I? It depends (my favourite answer to all questions, he he). Using drugs? Somehow deforming the female reproductive organs? Or maybe if I rubbed a magical lamp and a genie popped out and said, "You have three wishes"? Which used to be a dream/hope/fantasy of mine. If that did happen a year or two ago, I would have said straight out, "I wish you would stop me having my monthly periods, but still allow to give birth to my own child." But now it's a little different. I've been researching different/natural/environmentally friendly/easy alternatives to collecting menstrual blood, and also reading comments on menstruation, and now I think differently about it. I still feel restricted in some way, but I don't have such a negative thought towards menstruation. It would be interesting to meet some women who have had real problems with PMS and all the other things that occur at that time of the month, just to see what there lifestyle is like, because (after very little research I must admit) I think it has a lot to do with lifestyle/health.

Now, if that genie came to me, I may ask shim (she-him) if they could let the whole world understand the importance of the menstrual cycle in women. And then I'd ask shim to cut every women's cycle down to how it used to be (about 50 a lifetime??). We'd still have the cycle, just not as often, and start when we are 16/17 as opposed to as early 9, so we can have a few more years of being a child.

From ****, Sydney, Australia.

PS. Thanks so much, Harry, for your site. It really opened up my eyes to information that I just wasn't given, due to lack of sex-ed, which I think that should improve. And also due to embarrassment with talking about it, which I thankfully don't have now!

I probably wanted to say a lot more, but I go off in tangents and forget to go back. But I just wanted to mention that I think it should be called womenstruating. I've seen it said on your site before, but I thought of it before I saw it.

January 2006


"I am sorry, girls, my system is a lemon ­ it just doesn't work."

I am 38 years old and have been married for 15 years to a perfectly wonderful man. We planned on having four children and wanted to be young parents. After a few years of no success we started seeing the first of what would turn out to be half dozen specialists in the field of obstetrics-gynecology. I have endometriosis. I have gone through several surgeries, treatments, tests, and every conceivable conventional and non-conventional "cure" know to man. I have even conceived several times, only to lose the pregnancy very early.

I started menstruating at 11 years old. My mother had started at the same age and had no problem getting pregnant (thank God she was always very open about sex and reproduction). I married my college sweetheart at age 21. He is number five of seven kids in a very conservative family which never talked about sex or reproduction (it just seemed to happen a lot). Everything we have gone through has been all new to him. At first he did not go to the doctor with me and did not want to believe what I would tell him. Now he is more informed than a lot of medical staff I know!

My periods have always been regular as clock work, but they have also always been very heavy, a full seven days long, and PAINFUL! As I have aged things have only gotten worse. I have terrible ups and downs that now have me on Zoloft. I have sharp back pain one full week before my period. I have a three-day migraine headache at the start of my period and I cramp like crazy before, during and after my period. It is smelly, sticky, messy and makes me ache all over.

Would I like to shut the whole thing off? YES! I love being a women, feeling sexy, and knowing that I am a part of the cycle of life, but I am sorry, girls, my system is a lemon ­ it just doesn't work. 

Mrs. ****

Ohio

January 2006


Yes! "As an athlete and an avid traveler I have the only thing I ever wanted - 100 percent performance, seven days a week, 365 days of the year!"

To answer your poll question: Yes, I would definitely stop my periods if I could - Oh wait, I already have!

I started my period when I was 12. I started birth control when I was 15. I started taking birth control pills continuously when I was 18. I am now 25 and I have only had about 10 periods in the last seven years, all voluntarily. No breakthrough bleeding, no spotting, no PMS, no cramps, no breast swelling, no feeling inhuman for seven days a month, no "sexless" days (my husband loves that!).

No more second-rate games because of period pains and bloating; no more walking around in a haze in some Third-World city because of PMS induced ADD. As an athlete and an avid traveler I have the only thing I ever wanted - 100 percent performance, seven days a week, 365 days of the year! 

P.S. I am so glad that you feature menstrual cups on your site! [Click on a history of the cup.] More women need to be made aware of their existence. They are a godsend and the best alternative in the world to pads and tampons. Not only are they extremely cost effective, they work better than any tampon I've tried and they're really comfortable once you get used to them. If you must have a period you must throw out your pads and tampons and switch to a menstrual cup!

Regards

****

Surrey, British Columbia, Canada

January 2006


No. She started in the second grade!

I am not going to say I enjoy the cramps or the uncontrollable outbursts of tears., much less the cravings for everything sweet and everything salty, all at the same time. But I do love that I get my period. I began getting my period in second grade or so (I was ~7). I got it normal every month until the summer before eighth grade, when I stopped getting it completely. Found out I had PCOS [polycystic ovary syndrome] and had been on some form of low-dose birth control since the middle of ninth grade just so I could get a period. I am a sophomore in college now and I can get my period regularly, on my own now. I am back on birth control - for, well, only birth control reasons because I am now sexually active and practicing safely.

It's a good feeling knowing that I can get it regularly on my own now, though.

I love my period. I love the fact that I am healthy. I would give anything in the world to give other women the ability to feel how I do, mentally, when I have my period. I am on top of the world. I have debilitating cramps some months and nice easy flows other months, but always happy - no matter what. I embrace my body, my health and my cycles. I recently started making my own menstruating pads. I like washing them, even - it just feels so good to be a woman. I made these for me, for my own natural cycles, and I am not ashamed of it!!!

- Proud and Unashamed from Upstate New York

January 2006


No. "Get therapy, get extra sunlight, get hormone treatments, get help!"

After reading an article in Maclean's Magazine [more here] in Canada, and visiting this Web site - what is happening with the world?!

I have to admit that since age 15, until now, age 51 and menopausal at last, I did not always enjoy having a "period." Although, since it started late, I was very anxious for it to begin, it very quickly lost stature as "special guest" and was downgraded to "nuisance feature." I have had the messy accidents some other readers write about, wearing white pants or shorts was always a risk for me because of heavy periods. The only times I was truly happy to have a period were when I knew I didn't want to be pregnant, especially if it was overdue, but then when it came along I jumped for joy. I did worry when I didn't have a period for two years from age 19-21 after being on The Pill from age 16. It also took me a long time to get pregnant, once I got married, after one earlier ectopic pregnancy (22) and two miscarriages (at age 32, and 34). A period was a useful marker or timekeeper, as the months went by between pregnancies. I did have two lovely children at age 36 and 38 and didn't miss having a period while I was nursing full time.

However, suppressing this completely natural, normal human function smacks of medieval superstitious fear of the female body! Something I am trying to overcome in myself.

Ladies, if your periods are that extremely uncomfortable, and make you ill, there must be a reason. Get therapy, get extra sunlight, get hormone treatments, get help! Thank goodness, for most of us it's just the mess and inconvenience we don't like, and perhaps there is a hidden desire to want to function like "men" all year round, with no days off. Actually, as mother of two teens and wife of a business man, I have to say that putting my feet up for three days a month would be a blessing, not an inconvenience (like in the book, The Red Tent). As for PMS - though I was never suicidal, it began to really bug me in my 40s when it lasted up to two weeks - I finally went to see a therapist for help with anger and depression, and as a side effect, my PMS started to wane.

Then I came across Dr. Christiane Northrup's "Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom," and began to understand menstruation and PMS in a new light. My emotional irritability and anger issues (and low times) were messages from my body's wisdom - I wasn't paying attention to important things like my own creativity, and needing time to be alone. I needed to listen to my own intuition, highly sensitive at that time of the month. It was time to slow down, and stop being the one who does everything for everybody. I now see my 40s as a time of awakening - along with the increasingly acute pre-menopausal symptoms, increased bleeding, PMS, insomnia, etc. - it was time to start taking care of myself, no longer able to carry on as superwoman. 

In this world of male corporate culture, where most women work outside the home, it is difficult to take time for oneself as a woman without feeling like a "whiner" and complainer. But I thank the universe for books like Northrup's, as well as The Red Tent and Da Vinci Code for waking me up to the power of the female body and the feminine side of the creative power. And for awakening an awareness that the "curse" can be nursed back to health.

We need to look within, women, get in tune with ourselves, with our bodies, and harmonize with our cycle, not fight it. Start trusting your inner messenger system.

- A menopausal mom in Montreal, Canada

(PS: My 13-year-old daughter hasn't started hers yet, but I intend to celebrate it, and give her a menstrual basket of goodies, as well as tell her my menstrual story)

January 2006


Maybe. "To say that menstruating makes me female is like saying that being kicked in the balls makes someone male."

If I were reasonably certain that the side effects would be minimal, yes, I would. 

I don't say this because I'm ashamed of being female. To say that menstruating makes me female is like saying that being kicked in the balls makes someone male. Women who've hit menopause or gotten hysterectomies are still female, men who are lucky enough to go through their whole lives unkicked are still men.

I'm not saying this because society has told me that menstruation makes me weak. Society hasn't told me that. Okay, so society is filled with "time of the month" jokes. It's also filled with blonde jokes, gay jokes, Democrat jokes, etc. They all exist for the sake of humor, not for the sake of passing on deep, philosophical truths. Unless they're specifically said to be nasty and hurtful, then I see no point in taking them seriously. Outside of the jokes, society has told me how my body works, why it works that way, and that tampons can cause [toxic] shock. To this end, I use pads instead. Big whoop. (Actually, in a nice twist of irony, sex ed left most of the girls in my class longing for their period as a sign of womanhood and looking eagerly forward to it. I thought they were crazy. As soon as they actually HAD one, they all agreed with me.)

I don't say this because menstruating is annoying and messy. Cleaning toilets is annoying and messy, but I have no problems doing it.

I will even go so far as to admit that PMS has some benefits for me. I'm a writer and an artist and every month, shortly before I start menstruating, I get a kick of inspiration and either start a new story or three or start churning out line drawings. The problem with this is that I'm inevitably half way through writing something when the cramps kick in and that's that. The story can languish half finished on my hard drive for months before I finish it, if I ever do, and naturally enough PMS NEVER gives me the inspiration to pick up a pre-started story. It's actually rather irritating, now that I think about it.

My problem with menstruating is simple: it hurts. It hurts a lot. When I cramp, I do it from my stomach to the bottoms of my feet. I have no energy. On top of that it's not unusual for me to get a low-grade fever along with the pain. It's like going through a monthly bout of the flu. Perhaps if I could call in sick from work because of this it would be more tolerable, but  menstruation ISN'T a disease and so it isn't treated like one despite the fact that for some women it's just as debilitating. My roommate used to have to take a day off from classes (which meant lying about chronic migraine issues) to be curled up in a little pained ball. My friend used to pass out in the shower on the first day of hers, before she was bleeding heavily enough to tell. I don't care who you are, but the possibility of cracking your head open on the faucet is a health hazard. Then there are women out there who barely cramp at all. People tend to look at them, or women with a high pain tolerance, and go "well they're doing it, why can't the rest of you?" Because we'd rather curl up in little balls on the nearest comfy surface and die. Thank you.

I'm not going to say that every woman out there should get rid of their menstrual cycle if possible. There are women out there who are damn proud of their ability to keep functioning when it feels like they're being gutted, and they can keep right on being proud. However, unless they're going to offer to work all of my shifts for me, take my pills, wash my undies, etc., I don't need them telling me what a gift my ovaries are. Menstruation is something I will survive, but I will never celebrate it. In fact, I will spend one week a month wishing for a sex change.

And I realize you probably didn't need an essay on the subject, but those are my general thoughts at the moment, followed swiftly by "damnit, time for another dose of ibuprofen."

Thank you for your time,

****

January 2006


No! "The feeling of warmth that comes out of your own body, that in a different circumstance would cradle your baby."

I would never ever opt to stop menstruating! The feeling of warmth that comes out of your own body, that in a different circumstance would cradle your baby. That feeling of power, that potential for life is coming from you. I love having a period. I cry at the pain, but after it's finished, I am proud for getting through it.

January 2006


YES! She must wear adult diapers during her period

First off - great Web site! How cool that someone has thought to collect and archive so many artifacts relating to menstruation. And even cooler that a man has seen fit to do this, and do it with the utmost dignity - thanks for your hard work.

I notice you ask women if they'd stop having a monthly period, if given the choice. My answer would have to be a most definitive YES. I'm 38 years old and I have no children. I won't ever be having children of my own. For 25 years I've spent 3-7 days out of every month experiencing anything from a high level of discomfort to excruciating pain, almost always accompanied by excessive bleeding which, in recent years, this has meant having to resort to wearing adult diapers during my periods (traditional menstrual pads not doing the job.) Ever since I first started menstruating, I've been able to count on spending at least one day a month in bed with such severe cramps and headache that school, work - even a walk in the park - are impossible. I can't think of a good reason NOT to forego migraine headaches, debilitating cramps and muscle aches, the expense of buying pads and adult undergarments (they are VERY expensive), extreme mood swings, and the stress which comes with my period every month.

For the record, I'm 38 years old and American. I grew up in a family culture where menstruation was always discussed openly, without shame or embarrassment.

Thanks again for compiling and maintaining such a fascinating online exhibit.

 - ****

January 2006


Canadian: "I just dread this freaking monthly curse."

I found your Web site by searching "Percocet Painful Menstruation." I have just gone through days of hell again this month. Felt suicidal, sleep preventing pain, heavy flow. I just dread this freaking monthly curse. I am taking evening primrose oil 3 x day, MacaSure, and Udo's Oil all in hope of keeping my hormones in check. I took three extra-strength Advil when I dragged my sorry butt out of bed this morning and finally turned to Percocet this afternoon. This must stop! I could handle a few times a year, but every 3 weeks? This is just cruel.

I am 40 years old and I smoke, so I understand that birth control pills are not an option for me.

There are so many theories regarding the cause and I am confused as hell. 

 **** in Canada

January 2006


No, writes a woman born in India

Just wanted to add my comment to your site.

First of all, it's great to come across a site like this, because I thought I was one of the few people in the world who has periods that last at least 7 days a month, and now I know I'm not alone!

Secondly, I came across this site while trying to find out why my female (desexed) cat almost has to be surgically removed from my lap when I have my periods - I still haven't found anything on this, though I know the rumour goes that animals are more attracted to you at this time of the month - any tips, anyone? (The male cat, also desexed, also likes to be closer to me than he usually is at this time of the month.)

In answer to your question, No, I wouldn't stop menstruating.

Like a lot of people, I started my periods when I was 11. Unfortunately, I was in boarding school, in a 60-bed dorm, when I woke up and my sheets and my body from the waist down were soaked in red!

The day only proceeded to get more embarrassing, but I don't think there's enough space on this site for me to go into details, so I won't! They were regular from the very first time, 10 days long - and HEAVY! Cramps like you would not believe. They didn't make pads thick enough, and super tampons had to be changed every hour - even then, I'd started bleeding into the pad I was wearing 'just in case.' I also remember the smell! I also think that's when I became anaemic.

My mother decided to try homeopathic remedies, but the one month I tried them, I had a second period start three days after the first one ended, so that was TWENTY days that month of bleeding!

The most blissful day of my life was the day I discovered The Pill, and I was on it for about 8 years. No side-effects, LOVED the convenience of having regular periods every 28 days, and a really light flow. (No anaemia either - I'm a blood donor, so I know.)

Then I started forgetting to take The Pill everyday, and I knew my body was telling me it was time to stop. Fought the decision for about a year, since I remembered what my periods had been like, but my body wouldn't give up, so I finally stopped, in January 2004.

I was dreading it, but, now that my body has gotten over it, I realize that The Pill helped me get more in tune with my monthly cycle. I KNOW when my period is going to start - at least partly because I keep an eye on a calendar! ;) - and because I am more aware of the changes within me at different times of the month.

I love having all that extra energy (and insomnia) just before my periods start - and that nesting urge, since it's the only time the house gets a really good clean. I feel more creative, more productive, and more focused just before and during my periods, more centred, more balanced, more in tune with the world, and less easily upset - perhaps to make up for being such a shit to people just before they start!

I'm 33, about to turn 34, and I have no desire to have children. I've known I didn't want children since my early twenties, and often thought of having a hysterectomy. But my mother had an early hysterectomy, and I saw the changes it wrought in her body and her personality, and I don't want that to happen to me.

I've also come full-circle now, from hating and fearing my periods to accepting them and being more aware of myself throughout my entire cycle.

Perhaps I'm fine with my periods now because they're nowhere near as bad as they used to be - or my attitude to having them has changed, which has made the difference. My periods are now 7, sometimes 8 days long, still heavy, but the bad cramps only strike every few months (and sex really helps to get rid of them, if you have a partner who isn't turned off by menstrual blood).

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to contribute to your site. Feel free to cut out bits of this if you need to!

I'm almost 34, born in India, grew up in Australia, been working in non-English speaking countries for the past several years, in third-world to first-world contexts, and now know that Tampax binds the world together! [She contributed the story on the humor page about the tribulations of her gay friend buying her Tampax to bring to Mexico.]

January 2006


"I would like to stop it for young girls."

Yes and No. I have tried The Pill and Depo-Provera for birth control purposes but liked Depo for the fact that I hardly had a period. Since I have been off it since 2003 I have not had a regular period every month. Most of the time I go longer than 35-40 days between periods, which some of you would think is great, only I don't because i am afraid of accidents and it's hard to plan vacations.

Also, I am very open with my two girls 6 and 8 when they have asked me why I am bleeding there. I have told them that is something that happens to all girls at a certain age and they become a woman and it helps them be ready to have babies, without going into too much detail that will only scare them or confuse them. I also tell it like it is to my husband who after 10 years still gets grossed out when I say "I started my period." But when he wants sex he isn't shy to say "Are you still on it?"

As to my answers, Yes, I would like to stop it for young girls. I have friends that have started at 8 years old and that is just too young. My 8-year-old is starting with mood swings and saying that her tummy feels funny at a certain time each month and all the Internet sites and books I have read said that she may start any time now. If there was a way girls wouldn't get it until 16-17 years old and a safe and effective way I would be all for it. I agree that periods are a pain and can be messy (I have had my share of embarrassing accidents and days I couldn't do gym or go swimming). I don't think i would give them up totally, just lessen them in some way. Also I just wish I could prevent having to put my girls or any girls on the birth control pill so as not to worry about having a 12/13-year-old or any age girl, not ready to have a baby, get pregnant.

Mother of two - dreading the day I hear "Mom, I started my period!" 

December 2005


"This 'reproductive ability' is not a joyous thing for me - it is a life-threatening fear."

Would I stop my periods? In a heartbeat. I started late (around 16) and have never been particularly regular. I began taking the Pill at age 19 and took it to age 26. From age 26 to 31 tried to become pregnant, with no success - had been told by doctors that my fertility was "suspect." After resigning myself to childlessness, became pregnant at age 32. The pregnancy was uber-complicated, ending at 24 weeks. I developed severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome [a variety of preeclampsia] and nearly died. My son spent 4 months and 5 days in the hospital. I begged for a hysterectomy while undergoing the emergency c-section that saved both our lives but was refused (I don't understand the logic behind this refusal - I was DYING at the time and any subsequent pregnancy will likely have the SAME EFFECT!) It's now three years later; my son is healthy and wonderful but my periods are messy, painful, and debilitating. I have the same problem as many contributors to the "stop my period?" page - extreme flow soaking through super-sized tampons and pads; messy leakage to clothing; and even overflowing the cup (and yes, I empty it frequently). The worse part for me, though, is the fear that despite hubby's vasectomy I may become pregnant again. This "reproductive ability" is not a joyous thing for me - it is a life-threatening fear. If I could remove that fear from my life, I would jump at the chance.

****, age 34, from suburban Atlanta, Georgia (U.S.A.); married, one child

December 2005


No. "Good to lead, good to bleed."

Ten years ago I would have said yes.

And I took Depo-Provera and didn't menstruate and I was happier in my little co-dependent workaholic world.

Then I got therapy and I decided I had to join the real world again and that meant dealing with my body honestly. If I knew it would take me eight years of unfolding knowledge and understanding I don't know if I would have gone there. Now I realise it's going take the rest of my life -'cause that's my job!

I love having a menstrual cycle now - I have a crazy high libido for 10 days (gimme gimme gimme) and two days of (git git git) and my partner cycles with me - he knows where he's at because of where I'm at. Good to lead, good to bleed.

Yeah, it's heavy. Yeah, I get migraines but I'm learning.

(This site gave me the Keeper - yahoo!)

**** - Perth, Australia, 40, no kids, one cat, good man, heavy flow, 23-day cycle

December 2005


No. "The only true relief I got and that allowed me to be a normal human being throughout the month was reflexology treatments."

I was saddened to read the very negative comments regarding menstruation and women's willingness to stop it at any cost including major surgery and artificial hormones.

I have also suffered from horrible periods accompanied by PMS so bad I would entertain suicidal thoughts. I knew these thoughts were hormonally induced so I was able to keep them in check.

The only true relief I got and that allowed me to be a normal human being throughout the month was reflexology treatments. I, myself, am now a reflexologist and can attest to its incredible healing abilities. I strongly recommend to any woman suffering because of her period to seek NATURAL treatment, be it reflexology, acupuncture, herbs or a combination thereof. You don't have to suffer. There is help. (Proper diet and exercise help, too.)

I am 41, the mother of four young boys (3 1/2 - 11 1/2) and do not want any more children and look forward to menopause. I have used natural homeopathic progesterone cream for some of the symptoms I've experienced, and after being diagnosed as progesterone deficient in relation to the estrogen. For more information regarding your hormones I suggest looking at Dr. Lee's work at www.johnleemd.com

****

Netanya, Israel

December 2005


No. "[I]t's important for me to say that with humans existing as they are, and menstruation being part of my natural being, that I would definitely not choose to stop menstruating."

I am really quite saddened by reading this page, and coming to the realisation that so many women fight with their bodies every month. (Of course there are extreme cases for any situation, and I don't begrudge any woman her choice for her own body.)

I'm not particularly excited by the idea of having my period, and if I could somehow rewrite the existence of humanity to include a lack of menstruation, then I would be happy to work it that way.  But as probably best expressed by the poster with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome [scroll way down], having a period *is* something which helps a woman to identify herself as being female and fertile, and I was saddened and moved to read that this woman's lack of menstruation left her with a feeling of being somewhat less of a woman. 

Unfortunately the process of menstruation has also historically represented "original sin", and further resulted in the labeling of women as unclean and degenerate; this is something which seems to have permeated the female psyche, making the process into something dirty and shameful, which needs to be hidden, "dealt with", and minimised as much as possible. This is why, as a feminist, I feel it's important for me to say that with humans existing as they are, and menstruation being part of my natural being, that I would definitely not choose to stop menstruating. As others have said, it is a natural barometer of how I am treating my body, but for me it is also of psychological importance to accept all that I am, and not to alter this in order to conform to our societies' now *very unnatural* ideas about what is "natural".

Thank you for your very interesting site,

New Zealand

December 2005


No. "My body has its own way of measuring time."

Please do not print my name with this letter!

I got my first period when I was 11, and I was so ashamed I lied to my mom and my grandmom about it. I stuffed my underwear with wads of toilet paper rather than ask my mom to buy me pads. I don't know why I was so ashamed. Maybe I didn't want to grow up. I fought my mom over wearing bras, too.

I became less ashamed of my period but always hated it, and as soon as I went away to college I got on The Pill to get rid of the cramps, breakouts, etc. This was before they had Seasonale but my gynecologist told me just to skip the placebos. That never worked for me, though. I would get breakthrough bleeding. The Pill gave me migraines too, and I felt a little bad being on it because I'm Catholic. So I don't take it anymore.

I never really paid any attention to the changes I go through during my cycle, until I got off The Pill and bought the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. Then I realized where those monthly bursts of creative (and romantic!) energy are coming from! I stopped worrying about infections every month when my fluid changed. Learning about natural family planning really helped me understand my body.

I don't like the cramps or the insomnia or the diarrhea or the pimples on my chin or the headaches that come with having a period, but I can live with them. I like having "mini-seasons" every month. My body has its own way of measuring time. I don't want children right now, but I like being fertile. It's my own secret and kind of a turn on to know that my body could have a baby if I wanted to. And I like having a reason to lie in bed with a cup of tea, a hot water bottle, a good book and a chocolate bar every now and then.

I am 25 and married to a man who is not at all disgusted or afraid of any aspect of my womanliness, and I love that about him.

P.S. Although I am a Catholic and I don't use it myself, I believe that every woman should be able to have safe, convenient, low-cost birth control if she wants it.

December 2005


Already stopped!

Well, I already have stopped! I did it using Depo-Provera, and it has saved me hundreds of dollars and peace of mind. I wouldn't have it any other way!

December 2005


Yes. "[S]evere PMS has disrupted my entire life"

Not only would I, but I have! I have not had a period (or more significant in my case, have not had an episode of PMS) for four months, ever since I started taking Alesse continuously. I don't intend to have another period.

Too bad it took this long for me to find this solution - I'm 49 - because severe PMS has disrupted my entire life. Prior to starting the Alesse I was taking an anti-depressant for six years. I suppose it saved my life because it prevented me from actually becoming suicidal once a month. However, it did nothing for the extraordinary breast pain, depression, tearfulness, bone-crushing fatigue, feelings of unreality, confusion and emotional withdrawal that I underwent every month for up to ten days before my period.

My period itself was nothing. I'm free and I'm not going back!

December 2005


Yes. "It's nothing but a nasty pain in the rear end."

In a New York minute I would. I'm done having kids, I'm not even 40 and I have how many years of this disgusting mess to deal with? Why? It's nothing but a nasty pain in the rear end.

****

Charlotte, North Carolina (U.S.A.)

December 2005


Yes.

Hi, I am 43 years old. I don't want to have more children, three are enough. Most of the time when I have my period, pain and coagules are part of these days. I am wondering if some pill can stop it? I will appreciate, all kind of information you can give me. My doctor prescribed me Cerazete. I started few days ago, let's see if it works or not, as I know the chance to get rid of it is about 20 percent. Reading your Web site, I realized that many women have the same problem. When will you know about the new pill?????

Thanks,

****

December 2005


Maybe. "So, would I stop menstruating if I could? Well, I've been there and done that, liked it but at the same time, didn't."

I am 28, married with two kids. I took BC [birth control] pills throughout my teen years to avoid getting pregnant, which failed once, but that's another issue. I started my first period at the age of 12. I remember being so excited, but couldn't figure out how to use those damn tampons! After that first, great experience, I suffered horribly every month with cramping, although, I must say, I never really experienced PMS. (I consider myself lucky for that.) I even remember going to the office at school every month, literally thinking I was dying, to lay on the couch in the vice principal's office doubled up.

Most embarrassing was the surprise period I got during class once at 13. No one told me, and by the time I got to the bathroom and pulled down my pants, just to pee, I was horrified to discover blood down to my knees, had soaked through my acid wash jeans. Ugh!

When I met hubby, I was on Pills, and we decided to have baby number one. You know how they tell you it may take months, sometimes even years to get pregnant? Well, not me. I quit taking the Pill, had a period and didn't have another for nine months! Then, when I was postpartum, (sorry *graphic*) I passed a clot the size of a grapefruit and haemorrhaged.

Lovely. After those wonderful six weeks, I went on Depo-Provera. Loved it! I had one period that lasted four weeks, not so pleasant. They gave me a dose of estrogen, and that was it! Magically, my "friend" disappeared!

Great! I loved it, I could have sex whenever I wanted, no more cramps, no more messy monthlies, just enjoyed the next 12 months. Then we decided to have another baby. So in February I went off the shot. Expecting months to get pregnant, I never even had a period. Just didn't ever get one. My son was born in December. Whoa! So, after he was born, I went right back on the shot. That was almost five years ago today.

I came off the Depo October 5th of this year and went straight onto the patch. In the five years since I've had my son, I had about 3-4 mini periods. That's it. Why, you ask, would I choose to get my period back?

Well, ladies (and men too, I suppose) I am sick of pumping my body full of chemicals and drugs. I want my body to be more natural. However, having said that, I am currently experiencing my second period since stopping the shot, and am wondering myself if it was such a great idea to come off of it. We (hubby and I) made the decision to get me off of the shot, together, after discussing the things that the Depo might be doing to my body (bone loss, glucose intolerance) and that he would get his snip snip done. NOT ME! So, the Evra is a temporary thing until his test comes back with no swimmers.

I must say, during my menses-free years, I felt quite free. I never had to worry like my friends, mother, mother-in-law, etc. about swimming, vacations, inconvenient surprises, messes or any of the like. Even though now, I never really had any problems with the shot, just the potential for long term problems. Now, the two periods I have had, have been painful, messy and I just feel like crap. I did notice thought, that now that I have estrogen coursing through my body again, I have an extremely high sex drive, compared to when I was on the shot, and I feel much more feminine.

Even though I look forward to my body being natural again, I really miss my care-free days. We have Christmas parties coming up, and I already counted my weeks on the patch, and barely sneak by without my period in those days. I find myself worrying about accidents and leaks, and wonder if the rest of my week will be like this too!

So, would I stop menstruating if I could? Well, I've been there and done that, liked it but at the same time, didn't. Perhaps when Seasonale comes available to Canada, I will be the first person on my doctor's step requesting it! I hate my period. I always have. It's gross and it hurts. I may just decide that I would rather take the Pills and that I can sacrifice the "au naturel" thing to eliminate some or all of my pain.

December 2005


No. "For those of us who would not to have it: I hope they do enough research to find out the possible side effects of not menstruating."

Yes, I would definitely stop my period if I had the choice.

I actually have not had a period for a couple of years because I was on the Depo-Provera shot, until I found out a few months ago that it is not recommended to be used for longer than 2 years. I was on it for at least 4 years. I had a bone density test done and my doctor informed me that my bones looked like those of a 50-year-old so I had to stop taking it. I have to take The Pill now and will probably have to have my periods at least four times a year.

I hated having my period. I never knew when it was going to come. The pain and cramps were horrible, I tried everything from heating pads to Pamprin, nothing seemed to do much. I hated not being able to do the activities I normally enjoyed. I relate to all the stories of pain and misery.

To those women who would rather have their period: go ahead and enjoy it. 

For those of us who would not to have it: I hope they do enough research to find out the possible side effects of not menstruating.

Not having a period is wonderful!

December 2005


No. "And after this shot has run its course, I may never go back on Depo again."

I'm an 18-year-old college student. Female. From the Midwestern U.S. of A. (Yeehaw. Corn belt living anyone?) I've been on and off of birth control for several years, but last year I starting using the Depo-Provera shot. I used to get absolutely awful raging periods. I haven't had to deal with the Mt. Vesuvius routine in almost year. Lately, though, I've been thinking about how much less feminine I feel without it. I may rage about it when it's here, but it's kind of cleansing. I am coming to realize that it's one of those special, wonderful and uniquely female things. It also seems to help me deal with emotional build-up. I used to be able to at least get my feelings out once a month, but now it just seems like I hold it all back. So in answer to your question, no, I wouldn't. And after this shot has run its course, I may never go back on Depo again.

-Miss V

December 2005


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